Girls who do it all wrong, yet still get the guy! + My best friend
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 10:42 pm
Have you ever encountered anyone like that? Seriously if there was a Dating With Drama poster girl for what NOT to do, my best friend would be it lol! But yet she still manages to snag guys that actually want to be in relationships with her. She's been with her current bf for almost a year (which is the longest relationship she's had in almost two years). He gets really annoyed with her behavior yet he still adores her and treats her like she's the best thing since slice bread. I'm super happy for her that after the confusing times she's had during the past year she's finally found a guy she's sticking by and isn't running away from (and into the arms of another guy, as she would normally do). Often her boyfriend will joke around with me about 'less than perfect' traits (ie- whining, neediness, demanding, uncleaniness, always asking him for money when she works almost full time and lives with him. Yet she doesn't pay for anything, except groceries once a month. She has terrible spending habits) however, he never tells her it bothers him (and you can tell it does). He just does whatever he can to make her happy. She is only his second girlfriend. Do you think he is just 'blinded by love' or she is really 'the exception'?
Do you think her bad behavior is eventually going to annoy him so much the 'veil' will be lifted? They have a baby on the way. She's told me things have started to get more 'tense' since she got pregnant (which was totally intentional on both their parts) I would hate to think of their relationship going sour now. They are both quite young too. 22.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 01:12 am
#2
I agree with Adeleyna. Your GF might have a relationship for now, but from what you describe, it's imbalanced. That means it's likely to fold at some point if the two parties don't get their act together. Espcially now that the pressure is on with a baby on the way.
I've always thought, quality is what counts. I'd rather be in something for the long term than settle for short term drama.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 06:30 am
#3
Sigh...Doesn't ANYONE get married FIRST any more? Am I hopelessly old fashioned? WHY would a woman intentionally get pregnant without the relative security (by way of marriage) of a father in the child's life? I don't get it. It makes me sad.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 08:17 am
#4
Hi Melody
I think you may be right and that eventually the 'veil will be lifted'. Some men seem to be attracted to 'neediness' at first - it makes them feel strong and protective, but this is a novelty that tends to wear off quite quickly. I also think the situation sounds a little sad; they are having a baby but are basically still kids themselves.
There is also another side I see to the question of why girls who do it all wrong still seem to get the guy. You say that your friend has no trouble attracting guys, but based on what you have written my question is, but *sort* of guys does she attract?
For example, regarding her current bf, you say:
"he never tells her it bothers him (and you can tell it does). He just does whatever he can to make her happy. She is only his second girlfriend."
He may be a nice guy, but to me the fact that he lets her walk all over him would actually be a 'red flag'; the impression one gets from your above statement is that this guy is a bit of a doormat who needs to grow a pair and put his foot down occasionally (albeit in a nice way).
So in summary, yeah, a dram queen can attract guys allright - but are they necessarily the sort of guys you would want to attract?
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 10:08 am
#5
I have a couple of threads on this very subject as it is a favorite rant of mine. I am often eclipsed by Drama Queens who hog all the attention and the guys while I am trying to be a stable capable sane drama-less person sitting my myself at the bar. AAUUGGHH!!!!
Any-hoo...I got some good advice on those threads, so I will just paraphrase some of the comments that made the most sense:
Some men are attracted to drama. It is a sign of their own immaturity.
Some guys confuse drama for excitement in a relationship (thanks Ebonnee)
I hope their relationship doesn't go sour, but it sounds like they're both too young to "settle down and start a family." I'm dating this guy who got married at 22, and divorced only a few years later. Some girls may seem to get lucky, but they're really not all that lucky at all.