Get Over Your Ex FAST -- Send him to Ugliville!!!!
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 04:49 pm
Still stuck on your ex?
Pining over the wonderful memories of what could have been? What he was to you? The great things you did together? How he made you swoon? His touch? How the notes of his guitar melted your heart and his velvet voice made your knees buckle? How the sparkle in his eyes somehow magically told you that you'd be together forever?
STOP!!!
In your mind's ears, hear a chalkboard screech. A record scratch. EEEEEEeeeeeekkkkkk!!!!!
OUCH!!!!!!
Picture a movie camera and a producer deleting those scenes immediately and going back and saying:
"Hmmmm. Let's go back and look at these actors and really see what's here."
Movie Producer: "Holy cow dung!!!! He's uglier than a middle aged ape!!!! She's a beauty and she's with HIM???? WTF??? How did he get HER???? What was she thinking???? Can you say beer goggles??? Send that bozo back to Ugliville!!!!!"
EDIT!!!
CUT!!!!
So the movie producer changes the entire movie.
Watch it, girlfriend. Watch that new movie after the producer edits it with the REAL photos. The real ones showing what your ex REALLY looks like.
What you had in your head was all wrong.
You need to watch the REAL film.
His ugly A$$ face, warts, zits, oily skin, bald head, paunchy stomach and all!
Notice it.
Love is blind, girlfriend.
It really is.
Open your eyes.
Once you do, it's so much easier to get over him.
This thread is designed to get over him FAST!
Post here all the ugly stuff about your ex.
Tell us all about what turned you off!
Did he have toe jam?
How about foot fungus?
B.O.?
Sweaty palms?
Bad breath?
Dig deep and think about it!
It will help you get over him so much faster!
Don't leave anything out!
And help your fellow DWD pals cut their exes down. It helps us get over them even faster!
Laugh about it. And dish it out!!!
Send them all back to Ugliville!!!!!!
XOXO,
Annalisa
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 08:32 pm
So, Annalisa and I had quite a run on the Ugliville idea. After we made all the fun we can make to her guitar guy, it was dickx2's turn. So, I send her a picture and do you know what she said to me? She said: "Shoot yourself right now! He has boobs and his feet are gross and OMG, he looks like Shrek. Just paint him green! OMG" I corrected her politely that those are called moobs (for man boobs). So, now being Shreks bride I had no choice but to shoot myself. I've been considering lobotomy, skin transplant, you name it, but I guess shooting myself can just take care of it at once. Instead, I had a good, long laugh and Annalisa and then alone, looking at more pictures to send her and completely gross her out. That's how my tiny, little bit of "love", nostalgia whatever it is that makes us have those low times ended. It just did. We thought this was a good idea to offer to the rest of the girls here. It certainly has been therapeutic to us.
So, who is next? Robin, Sip, Auds....
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 09:01 pm
My buffoon didn't think it was "important' to fix his broken front tooth.
He is in perfect physical shape.... but missing a front tooth. WTF !?
He is also stuck in the 80's with long blonde hair (that he dyed with Sun-in !)
"I will always be a hippie" he would say.
L O S E R ! !
So... i immediately told him the missing front tooth HAS GOT TO BE REPLACED. So he got a plate finally.
And I fixed his bad dye job on his hair.
And I feel that I aged much better than he did ! hahaha
He looked a frightful mess in the mornings with that long thin hair a mess. Um, excuse me, ever heard of a brush, buddy ????
He couldn't sing to save his life ! hahahaha
Jesus Christ, man, just hum if you have to, STOP SINGING !
What was I thinking ???
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 09:35 pm
Saucy -- a plate for a front tooth??? Gold or silver??? Are you kidding me???
Did you ever check your hair in the reflection???
OMG!!!!
Sun in for hair lightening???
I didn't know they still sell that stuff!!!!
Send him to lie down with mangled matted mutts!!! Lie down with dogs and you wake up with fleas!!!!
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 09:37 pm
buitifil's guy reminded me of Albino Shrek. I still can't get it out of my head.
It's me who needs the lobotomy now!!!
We laughed so hard!!!
And guitar guy???
Lost all his hold on me after buitifil got done knocking him down and insulting his looks.
It works like a charm!!!
Buitifil, I found a photo of him on his band Web site where he's crouched on a brick wall in ape stance. Remember how you said he looks like a middle aged ape?
OMG! You'd die if you saw it! I howled!
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 09:50 pm
Yes, I pegged him good then! I am glad my plot sending you that last picture stuck dickx2 in our head. I hate to be the only one suffering here from distorted image syndrome. Ape and Shrek hand to hand off to Ugliville along with toothless, bad bleached buffoon.
OK Gilrs, next?
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 10:10 pm
A Plate means a denture, I had him get a false tooth for the front.
Now his smile looks perfect (thanks to me)
But I want to know, what kind of a loser walks around, thinking its okay to have a space where his front tooth was ??
do you know what his ex-gf (or freakin' current gf who the hell knows what she is) -- said to him when she saw his new tooth? She said he didn't need it and for him to get it the f*** out of his mouth!! hahahahaha
She must belong in Ugliville too !
Buffoon looks a hell of a lot better, having known me, I'll tell you!
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 10:10 pm
saucymomma,
when are you going to stop being buffonmomma? He can do just fine with out you in Ugliville. See, even got him a woman to go there with him.
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 10:26 pm
Hello Ladies,
I would love to chime in here, but the truth is, I just can't. His physical appearance was not the issue, it was his emotional unavailability. He hurt me, true, and yes I do think on a scale, I am more of a beauty than he. Its the man on the inside, not the outside that I had issues with. I don't think he is spending his time pointing out my imperfections, so I just can't spend my time pointing out his. Nothing about his physical appearance turned me off, it was the empty spot in his heart that got me. Not worth the trouble, I am done.
I also realize I can't let you girls down completely, so I will say this, he did seem to think he was all that, but the truth is, he looked much older than me. He would want people to guess his age and they were usually very close and he was always dissapointed, so the moral of this story is, he did not see himself the way others saw him, and he certainly did not see himself through my eyes.
Did I rain on the parade, I hope not. I also know that this is an open forum and anyone can read this. Including dick.
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 10:40 pm
Naw, Robin, come on! You yourself told me that your current guy is much better looking and even your friend said so!!!!
Love is blind.
It really is!
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 10:41 pm
Saucy -- Are you kidding me? His current GF is okay with a missing tooth? She probably liked to run her tongue between the gap when they kiss! She probably misses that!
Ewww!
Send them both to Ugliville!
But hey! Don't you dare go there with them! Stick with an ugly too long and you'll end up there too! Don't go there!!!
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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