So, Annalisa and I had quite a run on the Ugliville idea. After we made all the fun we can make to her guitar guy, it was dickx2's turn. So, I send her a picture and do you know what she said to me? She said: "Shoot yourself right now! He has boobs and his feet are gross and OMG, he looks like Shrek. Just paint him green! OMG" I corrected her politely that those are called moobs (for man boobs). So, now being Shreks bride I had no choice but to shoot myself. I've been considering lobotomy, skin transplant, you name it, but I guess shooting myself can just take care of it at once. Instead, I had a good, long laugh and Annalisa and then alone, looking at more pictures to send her and completely gross her out. That's how my tiny, little bit of "love", nostalgia whatever it is that makes us have those low times ended. It just did. We thought this was a good idea to offer to the rest of the girls here. It certainly has been therapeutic to us.
So, who is next? Robin, Sip, Auds....

My buffoon didn't think it was "important' to fix his broken front tooth.

He is in perfect physical shape.... but missing a front tooth. WTF !?

He is also stuck in the 80's with long blonde hair (that he dyed with Sun-in !)
"I will always be a hippie" he would say.

L O S E R ! !

So... i immediately told him the missing front tooth HAS GOT TO BE REPLACED. So he got a plate finally.

And I fixed his bad dye job on his hair.

And I feel that I aged much better than he did ! hahaha

He looked a frightful mess in the mornings with that long thin hair a mess. Um, excuse me, ever heard of a brush, buddy ????

He couldn't sing to save his life ! hahahaha
Jesus Christ, man, just hum if you have to, STOP SINGING !

What was I thinking ???

Saucy -- a plate for a front tooth??? Gold or silver??? Are you kidding me???

Did you ever check your hair in the reflection???

OMG!!!!

Sun in for hair lightening???

I didn't know they still sell that stuff!!!!

Send him to lie down with mangled matted mutts!!! Lie down with dogs and you wake up with fleas!!!!

buitifil's guy reminded me of Albino Shrek. I still can't get it out of my head.

It's me who needs the lobotomy now!!!

We laughed so hard!!!

And guitar guy???

Lost all his hold on me after buitifil got done knocking him down and insulting his looks.

It works like a charm!!!

Buitifil, I found a photo of him on his band Web site where he's crouched on a brick wall in ape stance. Remember how you said he looks like a middle aged ape?

OMG! You'd die if you saw it! I howled!

Yes, I pegged him good then! I am glad my plot sending you that last picture stuck dickx2 in our head. I hate to be the only one suffering here from distorted image syndrome. Ape and Shrek hand to hand off to Ugliville along with toothless, bad bleached buffoon.
OK Gilrs, next?

A Plate means a denture, I had him get a false tooth for the front.
Now his smile looks perfect (thanks to me)
But I want to know, what kind of a loser walks around, thinking its okay to have a space where his front tooth was ??

do you know what his ex-gf (or freakin' current gf who the hell knows what she is) -- said to him when she saw his new tooth? She said he didn't need it and for him to get it the f*** out of his mouth!! hahahahaha
She must belong in Ugliville too !
Buffoon looks a hell of a lot better, having known me, I'll tell you!

saucymomma,

when are you going to stop being buffonmomma? He can do just fine with out you in Ugliville. See, even got him a woman to go there with him.

Hello Ladies,

I would love to chime in here, but the truth is, I just can't. His physical appearance was not the issue, it was his emotional unavailability. He hurt me, true, and yes I do think on a scale, I am more of a beauty than he. Its the man on the inside, not the outside that I had issues with. I don't think he is spending his time pointing out my imperfections, so I just can't spend my time pointing out his. Nothing about his physical appearance turned me off, it was the empty spot in his heart that got me. Not worth the trouble, I am done.

I also realize I can't let you girls down completely, so I will say this, he did seem to think he was all that, but the truth is, he looked much older than me. He would want people to guess his age and they were usually very close and he was always dissapointed, so the moral of this story is, he did not see himself the way others saw him, and he certainly did not see himself through my eyes.

Did I rain on the parade, I hope not. I also know that this is an open forum and anyone can read this. Including dick.

Naw, Robin, come on! You yourself told me that your current guy is much better looking and even your friend said so!!!!

Love is blind.

It really is!

Saucy -- Are you kidding me? His current GF is okay with a missing tooth? She probably liked to run her tongue between the gap when they kiss! She probably misses that!

Ewww!

Send them both to Ugliville!

But hey! Don't you dare go there with them! Stick with an ugly too long and you'll end up there too! Don't go there!!!

OMG, you all crack me up big time. I must be too fresh in this breakup but I just cannot think of anything that would near compare to the descriptions you gave for Guitar Guy and Buffoon.

Other than the extra fur that No Show had.....nose.....ears (which he finally started to take care of) and a fuzzy back (I couldn't convince him to wax). I just cannot go where you dare to go with it. However, I will bet there will be some colorful descriptions on this as time goes on.

Annalisa,

GROSSSSS. How do you think these things up? Damn I wish I could go to AC...we would just be a mess...take a trip to Florida instead.

True Annalisa, but its just not me. I will be happy to do it in private, because you had me rolling today, but I just can't do it in public. Yes the new guy is a cutie, so can we talk about him and his awesome smile. His nice calves, his abbs that are present, his hair that I can almost run my fingers through, his blue eyes and nice eyebrows, his smooth skin, his cute ears, do you get it yet? Oh and did I mention his smile?

Okay. So he's bald. He's not got movie star looks, but are looks everything?? He is trim, VERY fit, athletic. No zits. Very well groomed, and knows how to dress for the occasion..I never had a desire to take him to buy clothing.

He ALWAYS, ALWAYS did what he said he would do. He was ALWAYS there for me when I would have an occassional meltdown with business or another ex. When I had an issue with HIPPA, he stood with me "side by side" (quote, him) He always thanked me for good times together (having a "blast" sometimes), and for my listening ears. He treated people exceptionally...generous tips, cheerful attitude. He would call when there was a full moon in an exceptional night sky, or a stunning sunset. He took me places that he knew I would enjoy, as they were arty or something with visual beauty. He wrote me poetry.

So, he got VERY close to crossing into a deeper relationship, and then said he "thought about it" and wanted friendship only. That's his crime...friendship. I want more. I want emotional closeness...he came oh so close!

Okay, I wish he would move mountains for me, but is that HIS fault? He did give me mixed messages, I think. Our dates were not the nature that I have with my MANY men friends. They were more like DATES. However, he included me in only one weekend ("didn't want to give me the wrong idea"). I had anger about this, but anger only hurts me.

In the end, if he likes me, and thinks I am terrific, but is not atttracted to me like I am to him, that's not his fault.

I have another man in my life who is terrific. Occasionally he tells me he loves me (he knows I am taking the whole thing slower, so he doesn't bring it up much). He probably would move mountains for me. But do I feel the way for him the way he feels for me? NO. I see aspects of him that are not a good enough fit...I see things I could not live with. However, even these things are not zits or warts. Right now, the way I see it, we are giving each other, other things: experiences, affirmations that are fostering each other's growth.

So what's the potential difference between how I feel for man #2, and how man #1 may feel for me? Is either case worthy of bashing?

I know my only chance is to move on...and what will be will be. I just CAN'T bring myself to do it by negative thinking about him. This is not a guy that chews snuff, or other icky dealbreakers.

Every week or two, he emails me a brief question asking about how I'm doing, and one of those times, he wished me a happy birthday.

Week 2 after a NC backslide after 4 weeks....uggh.

LMAO here, y'all are just too funny!!!

I did something similar, came across a picture where he doesn't look very good so whenever I start to think about him I look at it...maybe I can imbed that picture into my mind instead of the ones that go with the memories.

And now I can think of him in Ugliville, he'll hate it there!!!

whatif -- yes! That's what you do! Even if he's hot, find a bad picture and use that!!! Use it to send him to Ugliville!!!

Sophie -- I have a sick, wild and very vivid imagination! You missed my post on the no contact thread where once with guitar guy I had to really focus to not think about his balding spot. "Focus Annalisa, focus. This feels good. Stop thinking about the bald spot."

I can picture the exact moment on his bed as if it were yesterday.

You have to laugh about these things.

And yes, I was very much in love with him!

Sophie -- fur on his back???

Fur????

OMG!!!

Big Foot in your bed???

I'd scream!!!!

I don't care how good looking he is.

Fur that he refused to wax???

Close your eyes and follow me here.

An ape. You could have accidentally been in bed with an ape!

Apes have hands, fingers, use them like humans, do what humans do, etc.

You follow?

Next time you miss him, picture him as a huge ape, gaping around, eating a banana, content, with all his fur, scratching nits off his ear fur.

You're way too beautiful for that!

He can live in the zoo at Ugliville! We don't have animals there yet!

that's weird, thought I posted this, but it's not here...

was saying...

after you send him to Ugliville then you guys can go to Margaritaville! lol.

I have the same issue as Robin: His physical appearance was not the issue, it was his emotional unavailability.

He does spend more time in the bathroom than me. GROOMING!
He grooms himself and then by the time he came out, the bathroom was SPOTLESS. It was nice the have a human vacuum cleaner in the house.

His voice was deep and kinda British - loved that!
He's calm and even-tempered, unlike me.

He's never around! That's the problem.
We never travelled together anywhere. That's another problem.
He's secretive. HUGE RED FLAG.

Here today. Then GONE!
I go to Margaritaville by myself!
Auds xoxox

As you might read above, I'm with you Auds, I need to let go of things much deeper than looks. He has his issues and I need to separate mine from his. I think when I understand mine more; when I see this as an opportunity, not a loss to get over, then I will be able to move on. Emotional availability + friendship = relationship. That's what I need.

Knowledge is power. I have more to learn.

I live a rich and rewarding life, and IF he overcomes his fears, he would be welcome to join me, if I'M AVAILABLE.

cooked green pepper sweat all the time. he had to shave twice a day. The worst cheapest clothes, bought at BJ's. Wouldn't spend a dime, unless he had to on his daughters. Traded in his nice truck for a smaller less-expensive car. Never bought fresh veggies. He giggled, instead of laughing. Did I mention the thinning on top. One time I found a box of Just for men under his sink.

I'll get better at this as time goes on.

i need to pass on this. He was exactly as i want my guy to be. Tall, strong, handsome. great eyes, smile. Even that he is only 33 he had that salt and pepper hair. I love it.
i have thrown out all his pictures and all his messages. i do not want to look at him. it hurts to much. (still fresh) for now i realy dont have anything.

MStanek -- Ewww! Shaved twice a day??? That's a testosterone problem!!! OMG!!! Cheap clothes? Do you see what that says about him? He didn't think he was worth quality clothes. Very sad. He adorned himself in rags. Yuck.

Traded in his truck for a less expensive car? Again. He doesn't think he's worth better.

Ugliville has a new janitor!!!! Send him to Ugliville!!!!

OFF TO UGLIVILLE cooked green peppers. Take a mop you will need it when you realize that you can never come back into my life.

You thought so little of yourself you could not see how wonderful I am.

OFF TO UGLIVILLE!!!!!!!!!

That's it, MStanek! That's the way you need to remember him!!! In ugly overalls, with a mop, cleaning up after Sophie's ape in the cage, while guitar guy the mayor roams the streets aimlessly and buitifil's albino Shrek wanders around groaning!

Just picture it!

Ugliville is getting hilarious!

Annalisa, you are on a roll... I love it. Now we have a zoo and a janitor in Ugliville. I have an idea: Why don't we send the other guys to Emotionlessvile? The emotionally unavailable that may or may not have looks issues. Wait, that will have to make dickx2 dual resident. Because he could very well live in Emotionlessvile.

Audsie, you never know who you'll meet in Margaritaville!! Big SMILE!

There you go buitifil! now we have

Ugliville

Emotionlessville.....and for the ladies...

Margaritaville!! LOL!!!!

And how about "Butt Ugliville"!!!

Annalisa.......such a comic. I like this thread.

I'm glad y'all are enjoying it! Gotta laugh, ladies, gotta laugh! Sip your margaritas, and laugh!!!!

EmotionlessVille, I love it! But remember that EmotionlessVille is a neighborhood within Ugliville... like a community. It has the same zip code... this thread. However, because the guys have such big egos, EmotionlessVille needs its own mayor.

Who is the mayor of EmotionlessVille?

Yes, we Goddesses belong in MargaritaVille!

EmotionlessVille is looking for a mayor!!!!

Who qualifies?????

We had a few girls here that can put their exes in the competition. Come on girls with the "good looking" but emotionally unavailable guys. Who goes to EmotionlessVille and who is the mayor?

whoever has the worst of the worst ex qualifies as mayor! ;)

dick once told me and I quote "All men are a$$holes and I am their leader" "King of the a$$holes". Hmmmm what was I thinking?

dick for Mayor!

no name for deputy Mayor!

Could you just see these signs all over town, what a hoot. I'll bet Emotionless Ville is a very happening place.

Another resident to Ugliville, a guy on match that lives in the middle of BFE (maybe he's the Mayor?), has emailed me 5 times.

#1. Hi, I'm yadda yadda yadda (he goes straight to Emotionless Ville)
#2. More yadda yadda yadda, would you like me to send pics email?
#3. Will send you pics, only have a phone as computer (sound familiar, no he's not a perfect match)
#4. Sent the pics did you get them hope they don't scare you
(oh, thanks for the warning)
#5. Resent the pics since you didn't get them, did you get them?
WTF????

So I open the pics. I'm yawning now, no big deal, not scary either but whatever. Funny thing is, the one next to his motorcycle, he is clearly sucking in the gut as his chest and arms are hanging very unnaturally. The pic right next to it, the gut is hanging over his belt and he is 3 inches shorter....hmmmmmmmm.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......game over.

Annalisa......what that about "Sip your margarita's?" What about my margaritas? (lol, I know what you mean), it's Auds fault, she thinks of me everytime she takes a sip!

sip --- I'm howling!!! Drinking my green tea this morning (In California, we drink green tea for breakfast!) and I'm about to spit it out and have it come up my nose!!!

Your internet guy sounds like he belongs in Ugliville!!!! He's the resident troll!!!!!

Too funny!!!!

No phone??? Only via computer????

That's worse than guitar guy not being able to pay his phone bill because he bought an air conditioning unit for his house!!!

OMG!!!

Sucking in his gut??

Next e-mail, ask him:

"So, I see you like to work out your Molson Muscle!"

lil darlin
Ok, I don't think mine was the worst, who wants to volunteer for that one? Sip, not yours either.

Annalisa:
This totally helps. Though what Artsey B says is true, to get over the devastating emotions that accompany a breakup, we need to get our heads out of our a$$e$ sometimes and see these guys, warts and all, instead of idealizing them--probably the reason we stayed with them in the first place. I've been doing exactly what you recommend for some time now, remembering that I always had sort of an *eek* reaction when I looked at him and was not visually turned on by him.

I tried to overlook it because he was so nice to me and made me feel so GRAND in the beginning stages, but now I realize that most guys can make you feel marvelous at first. This guy manages to make every woman he comes in contact with feel that way, and has a hard time saying no to any of them. The ones he's not currently dating are relegated to "friend" status and he gives them just enough attention to keep them thinking he still wants them. I dropped out of that harem about 3 months ago and have had NO CONTACT since.

So off to UGLIVILLE he goes...!!

Janaroo -- give us a physical description so we can make him a character in Ugliville! We're building the village and need characters and players in our script. Let's play!!!

These clowns are all alike! The uglier they are, the more charming they get, isn't that the case? Wow!

They sure know how to work it!

OMG-where do I start? When I was dating him (two years ago), he did not clean under his fingernails, did not wash his hair but once a week, and wore mules (those ugly clog shoes) and over-large shirts (mind you, this is a professional and cultured man I'm talking about!) And yes, he was kind and generous, a good listener, fabulous in bed, and a great foot massager--I was hooked and figured the other things would work themselves out eventually.

Turns out he was also extremely emotionally loaded with baggage and needed attention from a number of women. He was charming to a fault with any woman he struck up a conversation with, and they flocked to him like flies to honey. He habitually kept women he had slept with as friends by dangling bits of attention in front of them, perceiving that to be a kindess but not realizing that kept their hopes alive, until I told him how much it hurt.

I got him out of the ugly clothes but then he met someone else and starting observing all those personal hygiene maneuvers that he seemed so incapable of before! Should I mention that I am about an 8-9 and he is about a 5 on the attractiveness scale (though tall and in good shape for his age), and I think that led to some insecurity on his part. He often told me he liked "unconventionally pretty" women. (From what I've seen that's just a euphemism for a resident of Ugliville LOL.) >:D

After much time has passed I realize that:
I was in love with the way he made me feel about myself, not actually with him.

My ex actually called himself "f--k face"! So F---face and dick and Bubba nd Bubblegut are running neck in neck! lol

Janaroo -- OMG!!! You pegged it!!! He did make you fall in love with how he made you feel about yourself! That's how ugly ones do it! Exactly!!! What's his ugly nickname???

Oh Little Darlin -- He actually called himself that????

Hi everyone...I'm having a good chukkle reaading all of your posts here. I can't think of anything bad to say about my ex's appearance, as he is not ugly.
I still have his pics on my Facebook, so whoever is my Facebook friend can see him.
It's more of the emotional issues I think I have with him. I feel now after I've had time to reflect that he is perhaps a CP.

You know, Annalisa, I can't really bring myself to call him "ugly" and it was mainly the hygiene issues that made him so. He has a typically weathered appearance from being outdoors, his Irish heritage, in addition to being late 50s. He is much better looking than, say, Al Pacino has become, and most guys his age (lost weight and stays active) so can't give him the label. He's sort of like a not as attractive Richard Gere. But his self-image remains that of the kid who couldn't get the girls in high school, so his insecurity is what makes him overcompensate--not that I was complaining with his embellishments in bed!

I'm far enough past (three months plus) that I don't want him back any more but have to laugh, because your "Ugliville" method is exactly what helped me move past him (along with therapy, since he was also my closest friend and confidant).

I would like to nominate for Mayor of EmotionlessVille an ex of mine from awhile ago, a guy that ended up being my FWB for a year after we broke up.
Good looking, tall, 6ft2 Italian, confident and friendly. But an emotionally unavailable twit.

We were dating about 4 months in. I accompanied him to his vasectomy appointment.
When it was done, he said to me "I will always remember you as the woman that came with me to get this done."

It seems like he had already dismissed himself out of the relationship, even though it continued for another 7 months.

Annalisa...Yup! ha ha...He knew he screwed up royally and told me that I am a beautiful person inside and out and said "I'm just a f---face"! I graciously agreed. :)Unfortunately I still love "f---face". lol

may i ask why you felt the need to mention his "package"?

Oh little darlin' -- how long has it been since you and f- face were together?

Send that mofo to emotionlessville!!!!