Friends with benefits!
Sun May 17 2009 - 11:41 pm
Hi! I met this guy online and talked to him for three months! I met him and spent a day with him and everything seemed to click! When we looked at each other we both felt that deep inner feeling inside! It's when you look at someone and they could raise you off your feet without saying a word! Total attraction! A few weeks later after phone conversations I was more involved with this man and had spent some time with him! He told me I was the closest person to him and his best friend! Then I was told I will never fall in love with him he won't let me! He will never love again! He won't let go of his past hurt to move on! But why is he pursuing? I feel my heart was abused! I have very strong feelings for him! I erased all email and phone contacts and have to move on but as i'm moving on in the past 2 months all I can think of is him! Nobody new stands a chance with me now! How do I erase this feeling? Can anyone help? PLEASE!
Mon May 18 2009 - 03:20 am
Hi MPJ45,
I understand where you are coming from.
Hard to forget thinking about him, all day everyday etc.
I think it is best if you can take a Holiday away from home, you need a break try and take your mind off him.
It is hard but you have to give it a go.
I felt the same way as you, January this year with a man I felt strongly for, but he never felt the same way towards me. The feelings I had for him were eating me up inside, I Had to take a week off work and go bush and relax, lit a fire, and think he is Not worth it.
There will be another man enter your life and appreciate You for you.
In the meantime, be happy and love yourself, make changes around your home etc.
Hope that helps you
:)
Mon May 18 2009 - 06:39 am
Hi MPJ45
I know exactly what you're going through I was told the same thing. "I will never fall in love with him he won't let me". I felt cut.
He saw me at work and rang me up, we hit it off over the phone and began speaking to each other for 3 to 4 hours every day for about 8 weeks, he kept asking me to go out with him but because I did'nt know what he looked like I was a bit reluctant, when he finally convinced me to meet for coffee, I finally did after I sent him to my hairdresser so she could tell me what he looked like, she said, "you have to meet him you guys really look like a match", so I finally did.
We had already talked so much on the phone all there was left was to meet. The moment we set eyes on each other it was an instant attraction an added bonus as we were already getting along.
We went out for about 4 months and spoke for hours every day. I'd never felt like this and neither had he, one day out of the blue he said, "I can't do it, I don't want to hurt you, you will always be my friend", I told he that's ok I understand, (I actually did'nt understand) but I know he loved me. I did'nt expect to hear from him again but he called again and this is 15 months later, I don't understand but we talk all the time over the phone and it's hard for me, I keep thinking why does he keep calling if he doesn't want me, but what helps me now is that I write what I want in a man and try and see this one as a friend. I don't know if this will help you but I do need to say if you keep busy and your head held high if your man is still around even as a friend he may work out his feelings and trust issues.
Best Wishes.
Mon May 18 2009 - 06:06 pm
Thank you Miranda!
Mon May 18 2009 - 09:08 pm
Hi Hussein!
That sounds familiar! So basically he seeked you out dated you and enjoyed being with you! I am insecure in dating an need help but it sounds to me like he knew in advance that it wasn't going to go forward and knew he couldn't. The words (I can't do it I don't want to hurt you) I would ask myself can't do what? And I don't want to hurt you means he cares! Is he running away from himself like mine! Or does he have a commitment already and wanted to try something new and felt guilty about it! You often wonder what goes on in their silly little minds! Are they just scardy cats or sly? Thank you for writing me! I have been through alot in 47 years but the best thing I did was to find this site!It's nice to have caring people to help each other! Thanks to all!
Wed Oct 21 2009 - 03:18 pm
HI
Im in a situation and feel i DON'T know what to do.. I met this guy online 6 months ago the attraction was there for both of us from the start! We saw each other for 6 weeks about four times a week.. he had first told me he was broken up with his last girlfriend about 3 months and made it like not a big deal. We did sleep together after 2 weeks of knowing each other.
(I had a non excistant sex life for 15 yrs with my husband) The sex was great! for both of us..Then it came out he and the girlfriend were only broken up a couple of weeks before I met him they have been breakin up and going back for 2 yrs now they are in there 50's
Now she wants him back so he goes back but e mails me once a week to say hi..
3 weeks ago without hearing from him my heart was broken I email him how is everything he says the girlfriend is away for 2 weeks lets get together we do...
We have been seeing each other since then for 4 months now... She only wants to see him two weekends a month which he not happy with he says he knows its not goiing well but needs to come to terms with it slowly
So tech they are still together.. i seee him about once or twice a week and he gets jealous that Im dating other guys... he is all mixed up..
My question is do I keep seeing him? and continue to date? or end it?
I know he cares for me but is still hurt by her..
I mean the sex is fantastic I dont't want to not have it again...
I don't know im confused.. I did meet a guy that I like but he does not live by me yet he will in dec and we do talk and have gone out on a date... Thank you for any advice you give
Wed Oct 21 2009 - 03:40 pm
So how do you like being the "other woman?" You aren't confused really, so much as know what you need to do but aren't willing to do it. If he is sneaking around to see you then you are a booty call and that's all.
Okay, I know the above sounds harsh but you are hurting yourself by allowing this man to treat you (and her coincidentally) so badly. Please, you know you need to stop seeing him. The sex may be fantastic but since when are we animals ruled by lust? Sex is just sex and you can find fantastic sex again, and better, in a committed relationship. This is never going to fullfill your inner needs.
Wed Oct 21 2009 - 03:52 pm
Thank you for you comment.
I know Im a booty call but so is he for me it goes both ways I just figured until I meet someone new or he gets over the other one which that relationship has ran its course.. I might as well have fun.. No?
Wed Oct 21 2009 - 06:48 pm
If you are both booty calls to each other, there is where you defined the relationship and if this works for you until you find another man, where does the confusion come from?
Wed Oct 21 2009 - 08:26 pm
I guess I really want more and are hoping for more... but i am still out there looking... but i dont want to give him up but yes some times it just dosen't feel right some times im ok with it.. I do have feelings for him I guess im hoping he will adventually feel the same
Wed Oct 21 2009 - 08:35 pm
Okay, you really have got to read the book "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov. This book will have some answers for you. I am in my 40's and have yet to have a relationship that is really healthy. OMG! You will do yourself a HUGH favor and save yourself A LOT of pain and greif by just reading this book.
Good luck in life and Love
Mssingle-Annapolis
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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