First True Love Bust!!!
Fri Sep 04 2009 - 12:01 am
I am in the dumps.
I have been working with this guy Kevin for two years. I have always liked him. About 2 months ago we started to go out on dates. It was perfect! He is perfect. A couple weeks after we went out, it all stopped. We stopped going on dates. Stop texting. Everything stopped. When I asked him what was going on he said, ‘Since your leaving for college in a month, I don’t want things to go any further.’ (He goes to Kent State which is 15 minutes away from my home. I am currently going to BGSU which is 2 hours away)
So now I am going into my third week of college and all I can do is think about him. And we seem to talk more than we did when I lived at home. We text all day long. We talk on facebook all night. All I do is think about him. I don’t want to meet someone new… I love Kevin.
What do you suggest?
Should I still pursue him?--> When I go home on breaks I could still ask him to hang out with me and I only live 2 hours away… Not that bad. We could make it work!
Or should I just try extremely hard and move on… Something that feels like it would impossible to do.
Please help me!!!
Sun Sep 06 2009 - 11:41 am
Hi sarahryan413
You seem like a very bright young women, so please "TRUST YOUR GUT." Do not pursue a man... allow him enough time to miss you and think about what it is he wants in life. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Enjoy your college years and date as many guys that you find interesting. If your desire and Kevin's desire for each other continues to grow over the years... than explore the option of getting back together at another time. For now, don't get emotionally involved in someone who isn't emotionally attached right now.
L
Wed Sep 09 2009 - 10:39 pm
Hi there Sarah,
As difficult as it is I encourage you to detach yourself also like he has done, yes cry it out as this will heal your heart. Keep your focus on your classes and enjoy your school work. Be comforted with those that are physically close to you and comfort them also.
This gentleman was protecting himself from pain and closed his heart is seems.
Keep your heart open and accept the sadness as difficult as it may be, then put it in God's hands.
You may join up eventually like the other person wrote or you may meet someone else that is totally into you with his heart wide open to share love together... he will do everything in his power to be with you.
Yvonne.
Sat Sep 12 2009 - 08:48 am
Sarah, Kevin said "I don’t want things to go any further"
BUT - And we seem to talk more than we did when I lived at home. We text all day long. We talk on facebook all night.
Talk less, flirt more - for starters.
Let him know when you will be back home. He may or may not have the time to see you but if he misses you enough he'll find a way to touch base because Kent State is only 15 min. from your home.
"Should I still pursue him?--> NO!
When I go home on breaks I could still ask him to hang out with me and I only live 2 hours away… Not that bad. NO, HE NEEDS TO DO THAT!
We could make it work! YUP!
You cannot make the suggestion. He needs to make that his idea. All you have to do is be available.
However, being available does not mean being exclusive. This is the time for you to be flirty and explore.
IMO, yes, this could work. I know it did for a few of my friends:)
Auds xoxox
Wed Oct 07 2009 - 11:31 pm
Less is more here...be available less than you have as (quoting RobinCarolina directly here) men respond to distance...
Thu Oct 08 2009 - 02:44 am
Sarah
Just let time tell you what to do. As it stands right now,(present) you are not in a relationship with this guy. You can explore other options, and still keep in contact with him. New school, new life, don't miss out on the present, the future will take care of itself. Go out have fun, and tell him about it. People like to be around happy people. Let him know when you are going to be home. Then tell him some of the things you plan to do when you get there, that don't really include him. If he wants to, he will get in where he fits in. You have an opportunity to flip the script right now. Be patient, and be smart.
Good luck
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