Feeling glum about no contact
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 02:40 pm
I'm feeling pretty jolly awful. The man I met last month and with whom I felt, we had a real connection together, has not been in contact with me now for awhile.
This was a man I met via a girlfriend who set us both up on a blind date. She has known us both for 35 years. When I spoke with my girlfriend a couple of days ago, she said just to be patient, he is a good man, and he's not the sort to muck anyone around. I haven't been in touch with her recently as apart from being busy, I've been trying to deal with this on my own without running to her. I haven't been in contact with him either of course.
However, its day 6 now, and I am starting to conclude it might be a no goer. I have absolutely no idea why he hasn't been in touch - our last catch up was perfectly fine! I do know he has a frantic work schedule, and he's away on business this week, and also next.
I just need some support (and answers)! Do you think it's toast ladies? Or is this still within range of normal?
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 02:48 pm
No, it's not toast. Stay in no contact. I have experienced this lateley too and I just keep on going and think to myself oh well and that is usually when the phone rings. He will be watching to see how you react to his vanishing act though, so act like it's nothing, don't even mention it. They often test us in the beginning and he may be retreating a bit, it's normal. It may take him so time and then one day he wakes up and thinks hmmmmm wonder what Trace is doing, I liked her and I think I want to see her again. She has not called, hmmmm again. I better do something before she finds someone else. Seriously, that is the way they think. Men!
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 03:03 pm
I wouldn't run to your girlfriend either as she may say something to him to spill the beens that you have had a mild freak out attack over him. Run to ANYONE else. Run to us. That is what we are here for :)
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 03:03 pm
Thanks Robin, trouble is I keep re playing all the possible negatives in my mind as to why he hasn't been in contact. I'm normally so positive and upbeat, but this man is special and because of that, I think I've allowed myself to become hooked in a lot more than usual. I have a busy schedule, and I have a full weekend of activities planned (including giving a party at my place Saturday), but how do you stop the "midnight maybe's" from pushing through?
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 03:04 pm
Yep, that's exactly what I'm doing Thetababe! I am so grateful for the support on this site. It's wonderful!
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 03:05 pm
It takes a great amount of mental discipline but you just push those negative thoughts out of your head Girl. You can do it
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 09:19 pm
Okay, so I'm in a similiar boat. Things were going great then contract dwindled and then none. I was dropped from facebook as a friend. (It turns out he no longer has an account and I don't know the reasons.) So I left him alone and didn't contract him. Came home today to a message from him to call him on his cell. Why? It's over! It's been more than two weeks. Plus he called when he know I was at work so I would have to call. (I can't take personal calls at work, I'm a teacher and it's a big no no. He know this but he calls at noon.) So do I call him back or what?
Wed Nov 04 2009 - 09:23 pm
So Trace, maybe he is just busy or is trying to figure out what he wants because he thinks you're special too and is doing that crazy guy thing where they pull away and think. The no contract thing is tough but I did it. (I didn't discover he dropped facebook a friend did the snooping without my knowledge and told me.) So there is some hope that he's just thinking how great you guys are together and needs to digest that.
I feel your pain.
Thu Nov 05 2009 - 02:21 am
Thanks Coffee. If it were me, I would make that call (yes, even after two weeks). But maybe call him after a suitable gap of time. Besides, the suspense would be killing me!
Thu Nov 05 2009 - 05:12 am
Came home today to a message from him to call him on his cell. Why? It's over! It's been more than two weeks. Plus he called when he know I was at work so I would have to call. (I can't take personal calls at work, I'm a teacher and it's a big no no. He know this but he calls at noon.)
No, do not call him. He's not even trying.
Thu Nov 05 2009 - 06:25 am
Trace,
Agree with everyone and Wobs' message # 1.
I don't know the whole background, though - where's your original thread re the 'splat' moment and run-up? xoxo
PS: I wondered why your interpretations were so negative lately; this explains it.
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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