Feeling crappy .... Like it was all my fault

So long story short i just officaly ended it with my boyfriend of two yrs a month ago hes 21 I am 20 . I was going threw depression and anxiety the time we were dating and it effected me completely . I was totally that girl who created drama But more in the sense were I was just so insecure .but I didnt see it at the time obviously I just was sick of always being put last in everything and i didnt know how to communicate it untill I would explode. Anyways so my depression and stuff got worse I was trying hard going to a therapist and trying to find some sort of program and I felt sean distancing himself . I also completely dived in and gave him 100% of me! So we ended up fighting and when I needed him the most he ran for the hills which he broke up with me over text which turned into a I think we should just be friends and then into im going to ignore you go on with my life and find another girl to fill my time untill you find out about her .... which I did and once he knew I didnt want to speak to him the table seems to turn... I magically have his attention again .But then again I some how get put on this little string that he had me attached to where he would pull me in when ever he felt I was getting fed up all along still dating this other girl... HAHA I know im stupid right.. so anyways I finaly get the nerve to tell him either you get rid of her and try or Im gone for ever which he did get rid of her but then again when he was suppose to be "trying" he pulls the whole distancing himself thing which i find might be simuilar to the whole " The conversation" thing in the book the difference being that I had been waiting over six month after all the crap had happend . And there I was willing to try everything and change and when i tried to tell him how I need to see more from him considering I was giving him a second chance he ignored me for a week and then had the nerve to try and tell me all this crap about how he had feelings for me but was to scared and I deserved better But anyways I finaly get some honesty out of the kid or a little anyways and then I find out he cheated on me that weekend.. and I mean there were some red flags in there I learned alot about how he was insecure and what not and some things about him that he would need to work on in order to be happy and healthy but i was willing to help him out aswell and be there for him but I didnt look at how I was being treated poorly and I shouldnt of waited that long to give him a second chance. But really this whole email is about I feel like every problem up to the break up it was all my fault that are relationship wasnt the best But even then I was trying to improve it I just didnt know the best way and I feel horriable and I am having a hard time right now. I feel in a way like if I was more confident maybe we would still be together but in the same regardless if he wasnt able to get threw that tough time with me when I was depressed and had anxiety I dont really want to be with some one like that who will bail when things get tough. Also the fact that like He didnt even try to help me , I am sure he did to some degree but it was more like just trying to make me happy which he wasnt not responsible for. I just needed his support you know and he did not even try to understand or accept it I swear he started to resent me for it. And now my mind loves to bring back memories of the good times and how things were and it hurts alot I have had a rough stuggle on my own with the depression , anxiety and the break up and I just feel like its all my fault and I m just looking for some words of encouragement... Sorry for the novel I wrote