Excited about meeeting for the first time
Thu Aug 20 2009 - 01:47 am
I have been talking to this guy online and on the phone for a few weeks. He seems very interested and initiated phone calls and calls every day. I think it is good to meet early and get a sense of the person. Because his schedule rotates and i have Friday off this week, I suggested Monday that I come out Friday. It is about 550 miles between us. So, i am going to drive out Friday and get there when he gets off work. We are going to go out that night and meet his brother's family the next day. I will go to church with him Sunday and then drive home. I booked a hotel for me near where he lives. I am glad I will have my car so I can leave if things are not right. Really this is at least dates 1-3 all rolled into one. Anyone else done this kind of thing? I will let you know how it goes.
Lynde
Thu Aug 20 2009 - 12:00 pm
I met a guy off of the net once. He seemed nice enough when i was talking to him. We had decided to meet and I wasn't about to go alone so I had told him if we were to meet I'd bring a friend and he seemed fine with it. Well, within the first 10 mins he had already snapped on me.. by the end of the night he had said he wanted me to come to see him because my friend prevented us from " getting to know each other". He creeped me out so I never saw him again.
Tue Aug 25 2009 - 07:15 pm
Hi Lynde,
If you google for the "Eharmony advice boards" and go there, there's a lot of posts about dating long distance - you can search the forums for them.
You're doing what they talk about - getting a hotel, which makes perfect sense and is smart. I wouldn't have him come back there and I'd meet him for each meeting/date though.
That's pretty much all there is to it. You can also space out your dates and take breaks in between, instead of spending the whole day Saturday together meet 2 or 3 times, whatever you want to do. Go back to your room for those breaks, helps you get perspective.
And you don't have to stay if you don't feel chemistry, just go out Friday night and go home Saturday. You can tell him you're not feeling it. There's just no way you can force chemistry and when you meet online you don't know how you really feel until you meet in person.
Good luck and follow your gut, then you'll do just fine. :)
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 03:00 pm
Never go to him!! My ldf is coming here near my surroundings and I don't plan on having him know where I live even though we've been talking for a couple months and feel real comfortable and he seems like a "normal" guy...but still, i am expecting to meet him in a very public place and during the day. I had some thoughts (since we feel comfortable) about having him here for coffee after lunch or dinner or whatever we decide to do. Any thoughts on this??
Tue Sep 08 2009 - 03:01 pm
I too will check out the e-harmony thing, thanks.
Wed Sep 09 2009 - 05:16 pm
lil darlin,
I think you can trust your instinct, (it seems fine), to decide to invite him over.
Sat Sep 12 2009 - 12:29 am
Robin, thanks. It's just that the guy will be coming all this way and IF we click I would like him to see where and how I live, just as I would like to do the same. I don't know, this is weird for me, never been in a situation like this and IF we click and we both really want an exclusive relationship (jumping the gun here) someone HAS to move and that makes me think about some pretty big sacrifices on both ends. Well, back to reality...first we have to meet. ha ha.
Tue Sep 29 2009 - 04:07 am
lynde...sorry to say...I would never do it..How often will u be able to drive 550 miles? By the time u reach him u will be ready to drop dead. My advice for what it is worth....is find someone closer. Been there, done that..It fades fast...wears u out. Why pursue something that will obviously wear u down quick? Surely there are closer love prospects
Tue Sep 29 2009 - 06:24 am
Hi Lynde,
Lions, tigers and bears, oh my!
Where is the concern for your safety?
Sorry, I am just as excited for you, but why are you doing all of the leg work? He is a man and a man should suggest to come to you or meet you half way, it really is just the gentlemanly thing to do.
You are only meeting and you are already catering to him.
Good luck!
Tue Sep 29 2009 - 01:57 pm
I NEVER walk more than a few hundred yards from my house (I live in the City Centre with lots of restaurants and bars at my doorstep) to meet a man for the first time. Driving all this way IS the most obvious way of pursuing him.
I used to think it was OK to meet somebody further away for your second outing and lived to regret it. Not so much that I went, but that my practical sense kicked in and I tried to accommodate him far more than I should have. Think of it this way: if a man thinks you are his partner for life, going through all this trouble is the best investment he will have made in his life!!! If you don't think you are worth it, why should he?
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
Replies