No, we don't likle this AT ALL. There are many heart-broken women on here.
There are no games being played. We think you guys are playing with our hearts. One minute, you are into us and then Poof! you are gone - NO EXPLANATION.
Many of us may feel that we were with THE ONE and one minute he shows us that he loves us and then he "suddenly" changes his mind.
That's why you'll find many on this site asking WHY? What happened to us? These men may have been emotionally unavailable or the guy doesn't know what he wants.

We want these guys back and the only way to do that is by pulling back and giving them the space to figure out that they really want us because MEN RESPOND TO ACTIONS not words. If the guy is into us, he will come back. If the guy is not , he doesnn't but... we don't sit around waiting. It's not healthy.

Does that help, Daryll?
Auds

Hi Daryll

As Audrey explained, one thing that many women have experienced is the business of a man acting all infatuated one minute then simply going stone cold the next, as if someone has flicked a switch in his head. This is one thing we women just CANNOT understand.

I doubt that anyone really enjoys playing games, it's more of a case of getting into a situation and being either unable or unwilling to see the truth. Or,having become so emotionally involved that it's difficult or in some cases almost impossible to walk away. I suspect that we ladies find walking away more difficult than men do - hence the first paragraph.

Well I can only speak of my experience and I knew my ex didn't know what he wanted the minute we broke up. He was running because he is a coward and was scared.

Tonight he has confirmed all that I knew deep down and as much told me that he wonders if he has made the choice. He told me that I sell the idea of him and ex to him more than he does and he told me that basically because I have cut him off and show no interest he "has to tell him self that he loves her" how interesting is that?

Boy sometimes I wish I was a lesbian at least I am able to understand woman a little better!!!

What's the saying "We can't live with em, We can't live without em" so true, so true.

hmmm i don't think its game playing. i think women just get really emotional (myself included!) and get carried away with the lovey dovey stuff and deal with all the complications and imperfections after. men are the opposite. they're naturally more rational and they sus out the relationship before it's begun. them being "hot/cold" is probably them trying to find a balance between yes and no with deciding to be with you.

Intothemystic,

I believe a guy know what he wants up front, he test the water with each woman he is with and whatver happens, aside from a committed relationship he is up for it, unless it involve breaking the law.

I also believe a man knows within a matter of minutes if he is going to see a woman again, if he is going to call her, it just depends on what he seeks.

For women know we there is a particular behavioral pattern we possess that might turn a man off during the second date, he then is likely to throw us in the "other" category, smiles.

one day u wake up and realize hes not what u really want anyway. hes to immature,hes a mommas boy, and only worries about himself, if things are bad now i cant see it getting any better. Take the focus off of him and worry about yourself and what makes you happy, if he is into you he will find away to get to you or find time to be with you. If he doesnt put the time in get rid of him, be sure to know this is not the end of him, when you start to feel good about yourself again he will notice, dont call him avoid him and stay buisy. who knows mr.right might just knock on your door one day. Then you might see the difference between immature and mature. continue your life staying positive and in control.

mystic,

I see and hear a lot of the same thing around here as well. I think where there could be some confusion (just my opinion) it isn't so much about having to have the "commitment" it is more about figuring out the "mystery". The behaviors, in general with men are very hard to read for most women. So, I think what you see a lot of around here is us trying to figure out what their "actions" are saying verses their "words".
I love you, I love you not? hmmmmmmm.."he loves me? he loves me not?" it is all about the dance not about the game. Most of us women hate to play games. (albeit, there are a few that don't) But, because the way men express themselves so differently than us, and because our natural reaction to it is usually the last thing a man wants to experience...we (women) spend a lot time together trying to decode the dance....NOT the game though.
I have to say though, there is not one man I have ever dated or been with where I concerned myself with whether we were in a committed relationship or not. It has seem to me to be a natural evolving flow that gradually takes place.Granted my choices could of been better...But, that is why I am here!! That is a topic for another thread..lol

Here Here Audsie! You just go and tell him! lol

Darrell, maybe a lot of us (men and women) aren't sure of what we want and that compounds the situation. I for one had tunnel vision about wanting marriage. That was my goal and I wanted nothing less (at that time) Well, I have done a 360 in the past several months, and have learned (from my ex) that two people can have a wonderful relationship without that certificate IF that is what they both choose to do. Because of my new way of thinking I now go in to a relationship thinking and feeling that a healthy friendship is a great place to start and if it blossoms, that is the icing. It saves a lot of anguish, not putting so much pressure on myself or that person to have to be this or that. If the friendship is there and the two people have the same goals, then that would eliminate that whole guessing game. I agree that there is a dance we all perform to get to a certain place in the heart.

Mystic, I believe young girls might like to play games because they are fickle themselves. However, when you get hurt and fall for a lot of lines from a man we women put up a wall just like men do. When men play games with our heads (and men can be very convincing) it only leads to trust issues which sounds like you have. Be up front and say you are not into game playing. Find someone who you don't give in to too fast and then you will know if he is really interested or just a player.

Hello everyone! I'm new here, but I wanted to share a few things that I have come to discover about men...
I am always asking myself this question as well. Here is what I have come up with. If a guy wants to be with you; he will be with you. If he wants to call; he will call; If he wants to talk; he will talk. If he is confused; he is confused. Do you see where I am taking this? Men are pretty straight forward with their communication...meaning their actions speak louder than words. My discovery is that men base their relationship not on talking about it, as all of us woman always seem to want to do, but how you are together on a daily basis. How the two of you work, live, love together is what they care about. They don't want to talk about it becasue it doesn't mean a darn thing to them. I don't know about you all, but I have tried talking until I have been blue in the face. I get no where! This is what leaves us feelig frusterated and neglected. Guess what! Your not, they are just not capable of discussions like that on such an emotional level. I ask you ladies to just try living the best you can loving, understanding, being a good friend and put it all aside and just try being for a while without all the major discussions and see what happens. I am still learning this new way of thinking as I just figured this out. I hope this helps some of you out there. Just remember they are diffrent and we need to learn to just live and be :) You will know in your heart if it's right or wrong.

Jess,

I have to say, I agree with you. Guys just take whatever is in front of them at the time. As you say, if he wants to be with you, he'll be with you, if he feels unhappy, he feels unhappy.
That's why it can feel as if they switch from being infatuated to pulling away in a matter of seconds.

That's just the way they are. And we should take it as it comes I guess. Sometimes I try so hard to understand, that it makes me scared! My bf once said to me, in the beginning we were together 'If you have to think about all the things that can go wrong, you shouldn't start with it in the first place".
There are guys who are emotionally open, and mature, and can communicate there feelings. But they will still be guys. We talked, let's go out now/watch tv/are you hungry? :p On to the next thing that comes up! :)

Jess,
Truer words never spoken...wow...needed to read that today!!
Thanks!