Did I just ruin everything?
Tue Oct 20 2009 - 07:22 am
Ughh.... to make a long story short, I've been going out with a guy for about a month. He's pretty shy but seems interested, and treats me well. We had our first kiss two Sundays ago, and then he went out of town the following Wednesday and I tried my hardest not call/contact/pester... and then I had a big freak out last night (eight days after the kiss) and called him. (I was calm on the phone--I just felt like I couldn't wait any more and the stupid part of my brain told me that I SHOULD call him.) He wasn't even home yet! He was driving, and I felt really obnoxious INSTANTLY and wished I hadn't called, but he was sweet and we talked for an hour and a half, and said he'd call me tomorrow. But I still feel bad about calling-- I know I should've let him call me. Here are my questions:
a) Did I just ruin everything?
b) I feel like I should email and apologize, but the reasonable part of my brain says that might make things worse.
What do y'all think? Thanks, Bunny
Tue Oct 20 2009 - 08:53 am
For heavens sake, you called, so what?!? Please don't start apologising, it will make you look like a proper nutter :).
You really need to deal with a separate issue here. First of all, try to balance your breathing when you feel an episode of freak-out coming your way. Go for a walk, have a bubble bath. Even better, take up yoga or meditation. Most importantly, chill and just stop worrying so much!!!!
You can do it!
Tue Oct 20 2009 - 12:05 pm
I totally agree with wise, if he's really into you it won't matter that you called. Just stick to allowing him to pursue you in the future and don't worry about making mistakes. We all make mistakes. And most guys are willing to overlook the ones we make when they are interested. But if we continue to make them, like you continuing to pursue him, he may lose interest. So just forgive yourself. If he doesn't call, then don't worry either. Know that you want to be with someone who is into you. A guy that doesn't call back again isn't that guy and is missing out on a great opportunity. But give it a little more time and most certainly do not put more effort into something that is not necessarily broken. 8 days is a long time. You were strong to not call him for a week. You gave in. Big deal. Really, I do think in the end of everything, if something is really meant to work out, it will work out. And stressing over all the little details doesn't help. I ask you to trust right now that it will work out if it's meant to be a good situation for you. And trust that if it doesn't work out, you are being saved from some future heartache and pain that you can't see. That's a good way of thinking about it I think.
Tue Oct 20 2009 - 07:04 pm
Thanks so much for the kind, reassuring, wise responses! (DWD is blocked at work, so I've waited all day to come home and see what the responses to my question were.) I have talked to two nearby friends today who both say I can (and should) call them instead when I feel a freakout coming on. I definitely learned my lesson-- I thought I'd feel better calling him, but from the moment (about 15 seconds into the call) that he told me he was still driving and wasn't even home yet, I felt like a big freak. I want to avoid that.
You're totally right! I'm freaking out over something that's basically going OK.
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
Replies