Dealing with Jykell and Hyde
Thu Nov 12 2009 - 05:42 pm
I had a real bad night with him last night, and tonight, I am so mad. I cant stop being mad at not just what happened last night, but so many nights that I have put up with. Does anyone know what its like to be in a turning fog that never sees daylight? that is what it is like with him, I never know, are we on, or are we off? It always seems like its his choice and that I am always waiting like the moon to see is he going to be happy or is he going to be looking for an arguement. I had told my friend about what happened last night and her comment was, "god your screwed when you dont even do anything wrong."
She is so right, I did nothing wrong. It changes so quick. She said I had texted her saying he and I were having a very peaceful day, we gone to the gym,then came back over here, he went on the computer and I started cooking, and then out of the blue, it happened, the big drama scene. He saw something that reminded him of HER and freaked out angry. So my dinner was spoiled, and you know what? I am pissed off!! I am so tired of dealing with this guy and his issues with his ex.
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 07:22 am
#2
Your right-there is two sides, thats just it, the good one, is just so good. Its like.."the white and black side of a personality", and thats just it. So yesterday he texted me that he was stopping by to get something he left at my house. I was on my way out, and I said I would bring it with me and we could meet somewhere in town. It was his cell phone charger. he then writes me back, "Just forget it, I am not rushing out right now." I had wrote back I had it with me and if he needed it just let me know. He never wrote back and didnt at all yesterday. Its his manner on how he addresses me- that.."just forget it." Its almost kind of rude. Its creating drama, anger, isnt it? Im so sick of it. I didnt hear from him and wound up going out with my friends and my friend said its just wrong how he is to you. Her man friend comes in and says, "so where is___? Did he dump you AGAIN?" Sometimes I just cant handle it anymore. And there is something else about him, its this cheapskate-ness. he puts a dollar sign on everything. And he is such an indian giver, god forbid I owe him a lousy 10 bucks.
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 08:27 am
#3
I don't know about you, but I deserve to be treated well all the time not just half the time. Also if he is getting angry over an ex that is a huge sign. First off anger is an emotion. If you feel anger over someone then they have power over your emotions. Second if and when you become an ex, he will react the same way towards you. Been there done that got the t-shirt.
Hmmmm what would it be like to have a man that adores you so much that he would not dream of treating you badly? How would that feel? A man that respects you enough not to bring his anger and baggage into your home or your life. This man does not respect you. How would it feel to have a man not care about how much money he spent on you and who would even offer to help you in hard times and not expect anything back. These men are out there, but you won't find them as long as you are hanging onto this one.
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 09:19 am
#4
PRINCESS, He's got an obvious ANGER ISSUE.
He also has a CONTROL ISSUE.
He is also not being RESPECTFUL TOWARDS YOU.
What do you do. Mirror his actions in a way that you respond as a goddess should.
ANGER ISSUE? Walk away. Leave the room. Dinner? Save it for another day - order out.
CONTROL ISSUE? There's nothing that feels worse than when you feel powerless in a relationship. Keep your emotions in check and the next time he's level-headed and calm have your ammunition ready.
Tell him that you are not happy in this relationship as it stands.
when he is ranting then he is ranting at the wrong person.
You are deserving of a happy relationship. So, is he.
He is sabotaging this relationship with you.
IT'S A WARNING; NOT A THREAT << don't tell him that. (i'm telling you that, GF)
You have other very wise advice above. Take it or leave it:)))
Auds
xoxox
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 04:13 pm
#5
Oh I take the advice,you guys are right. He has a serious control issue and I cant be the bag that he dumps his crap in, its not fair to me. Im in alot of pain, bc of how he can be and has been, also when I think about the happy guy and loving towards me guy. Its so hard..
but this other guy, I just cant deal with it anymore. Right now he is in his anger against me mode, but I didnt do anything wrong. Im just not sure what to say when he does contact me, if he does. Ive been rehearsing what I am going to say over and over again.
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 07:28 pm
#6
.
Tue Dec 01 2009 - 01:13 am
#7
Realize that the fact that he gets this upset over seeing something that reminds him of his ex means that he is still in love with her.
Guys with anger and control issues can only exhibit one emotion, namely, anger! So if they're sad, it comes out as angry. Frustrated = angry. Forlorn = angry. Brokenhearted = angry. Surprised = angry.
Do you really want to deal with this? And a guy who is clearly not over his ex?
From a woman who has dated a couple of guys who were not over their ex...it is not worth it! Particularly if she ended the relationship (and especially if she cheated). Men take much longer to heal because they don't talk about their pain and instead bury it in work, alcohol, drugs, or other inappropriate behaviors. But it always surfaces eventually. And usually as anger.
If he was truly over his ex, he wouldn't care much about something that reminded him of her.
Don't let yourself be his punching bag for his feelings for his ex. You deserve someone who truly loves you and treats you with respect and admiration.
Sat Dec 19 2009 - 08:03 am
#8
I needed to read this as well!!! OMG it sounds so much like my story-- Whoa.. scary!
Princessa, I'm probably stating the obvious but why are you still with him if he treats you like this? Isn't it time to say good bye and move on. Please don't ignore his outbursts of anger, either. That is emotional abuse as is the rest of his behavior. Do yourself a favor and get out now.