Confused

Pinkki,

Thanks for your reply! No he is not from Germany, he is from the US and I am from Canada. Believe it or not I don't feel like he used me, he was very much a gentleman and we had a great time. He sent me money to help me pay for the flight to see him and he covered the expenses while I was at his place and I was there from Thursday night until Monday morning, and as much as we did want to make love, we didn't because we didn't think we should on our first meeting and we both have religious values we honoured. He did tell me all the things in the above letter and even took me to look at a show home and said if I moved he would sell his two houses and buy a bigger one for us. But when I said I couldn't move, at least not right now, because of custody conplications, he chose to end it. After all he told me and how he had such a strong connection to me and strong feelings I just cannot understand how he can end it just like that and not even want to try long distance and at least come to see me too. I feel when you feel close to someone you wouldn't want it to end and some time with them is better than no time. I just don't get it!!!

CatWoman - WOW! Thank you for your wonderful post, and reading it really helped me and the wonderful things you said about me literally brought a tear to my eye. You sound really great too! I believe that you are right, I think that my friend is going through the same thing with his 'comfort zone', he uses the excuse of his job and his son but his son is already a teenager and will be driving soon and he would be old enough to come see us in Canada. I think my friend is scared of the thought of another country but he knew that when he continued pursuing me and Canada is not that foreign to the US so I feel it is another excuse. I, on the other hand, cannot move because my ex-husband has joint custody and has refused to allow it and I would have to go to court and fight to be able to move her and I would have to prove that it was in her best interest and that I of course could not prove because how could it be in her best interest to move her away from her friends, family, school and everything she has ever known plus we have our health care covered where we are and we have extra medical expenses. I even told him that I would move to the US with him after my daughter graduates, which would be in about 8 years, all we would have to do is date long distance for a year or two, then he come here for about six years and then we could move to the US. I feel that I have tried everything and he didn't really move an inch, he was all wonderful and great when he thought he could convince me to move and when I told him I could not (right now), that was it, OVER! I beleive you are right, I have to move on, and I have been trying to very hard, and every day gets better but not really any easier. Then I think to myself, if a man truly cares for a woman enough to be considering marriage then he shouldn't toss her away at the first sign of a bump in the road and that he needs to bend a little. Since he is not, I guess that tells me alot. Thanks again for your lovely post, you made me feel better, and I will never understand how he can give up just like that, but his loss and since he chose to give up "the one" for his comfort, will he really be all that comfortable??? He may have his comforts of home but he won't have "the one" he wants to share it with (unless he finds another "the one" - which he has been looking for about 10 years until he found me)and to me that is more important than any place or material thing and I thought he felt that way too because on his on-line profile he stated that it didn't matter where you lived as long as you were with that special someone but I guess that only meant if SHE could move! I would if I could but I can't, and he can, in shorter time, but won't! Hmmn! Thought he would have realized by now that I am worth the climb but I guess not with two weeks on no contact but as I said his loss and I will find that someone who will do all he can to be with me and not just give up.
Blessing, Apple

Thanks for your reply and yes I did enjoy my trip, saw some great sites and it was very in-expensive for me because he covered alot of it and paid for everything while I was there, so I had a great time, great trip and a good holiday so it was a good experience. Also, I learned alot and for the time being I gave up on the on-line dating sites because unless I can meet someone close or someone who will move, because I can't, there is no point. Live and learn! Besides, if he saw all the great things in me, someone else will too and will hopefully live closer.
Apple