Calling all Goddesses ... I need help with this one

I think you should let him make his own decision about the trip and try to act like you cool with it. If your girlfriends got a great deal on a cruise and asked you to join them, you may go along just a week of relaxing and have fun with them wouldn't you? I know that when you think of going on a cruise you think romantic and wouldn't it be great to go away with your bf. However, if you act like the super cool girlfriend that you are and let him make up his own mind....eventually the two of you will be planning those types of trips together all the time.

The one thing I've learned is you can't control what anyone else does; only how you react to what they do. If he is considerate of your feelings in every other way and you are happy, just go with that. Plan a fantastic week for yourself if he goes away and then revisit how you feel when he gets back. He will probably have a miserable time without you anyway.

You don't want to feel as if he is resenting you for voicing objections about him going away. That is just not a good feeling! Men just want to feel like they are hanging on to their independence still. Wish him a bon voyage and tell him to have fun!!

Good luck,
Margaret

Hey Caseyduf

First may I say that it sounds like this guy does take you seriously and is concerned about your feelings, and that things are going well.

Second - in order to repond to your thread I have tried putting myself in your guy's shoes. I'm going to play devil's advocate here and offer a slightly different perspective.

You mention that you guys have 'recently' become exclusive/committed, and that you have (only) known him for several momths. For me, the 'recently' thing would be quite significant; if I were in the very stages of a relationship and the opportunity for something like a really good vacation (at a silly price) came up, I would actually be a little offended if my 'partner' tried to make me feel guilty about going. Sure, I would like him to show a little saddness at the idea of being without me, but I think that part of caring about or loving someone is to allow them to grow and take up valuable opportunities.

In your situation, I would say something like, 'Hey, I think you've realised that I'm uncomfortable about you going away because I'll miss you, but maybe you could make it up to me by taking me on vacation sometime soon?' (and of course make sure he follows through!)

I tend to view this the same, I would be suspicious if someone tried to make me feel guilty about doing something without him. This would be maybe not a dealbreaker for me, but I would be uncomfortable. I think its polite that he asked your opinion but it seems he's looking for maybe just a slight bit of drama in seeking out if your mad at him, as of why he didnt hear a email from you. I only say this because it seems your guys have only been exclusive recently. It seems new for that much commitment-My vision of a relationship is trust and thats really important to me and if a man was going to make me feel guilty or show any resentment about my taking a trip with my friends, it would make me uncomfortable. I would see him as possessive and controlling. I always believe in having things in common yet its also healthy to spend time without them, standing on your own. But thats just me, which is from my life experiences.
Theres always two sides to a story right..I would think oh so if I say something, does that mean I wouldnt be able to take a trip with one of my friends, even if the cost wasnt in the bargain?