Angry over no phone call...
Thu Sep 24 2009 - 10:20 pm
Been exclusively dating Mr. Man since June...he had to leave on Saturday for work out of town 6 hours away...no biggie knew this was coming.
Sunday I ended up in emergency with a serious issue...got medication went home. He called on Monday night and I told him what happened and how sick I was, for me to miss work I must be on or darn near close to death's bed!!
Tuesday, missed work and no call, Wednesday he calls shortly after I should be home from work and says give me a call when you get home...I do and leave a message as there is no answer. No call back and so far tonight no call.
I AM PISSED!!!!!!!!
I have been very non-chalant previously when he hasn't called as I know he is busy and I am too and really it's not that big of a deal as we always are together every weekend and occasionally during the week if we can meet when he is home from work.
This time is different...I was REALLY frickin SICK!!!
I am telling myself well...obviously he could careless...but I don't want to believe this and that's why I am posting!!
My mind is telling me that if he truly, honestly cared about me he would want to know how I was feeling on Tuesday, never mind not returning my call on Wednesday!!!
Your thoughts are greatly appreciated!! My head is thinking right on track it's just that it is hurting my heart...and is enabling me to make excuses for him but this is inexcusable is it not???
Fri Sep 25 2009 - 08:16 am
oh no! he didn't even send flowers?? :(
I don't know if it is inexcusable because I have know idea what your guy is thinking.
Some more info would be good though.
Are you certain you guys are exlusive?
Leading up to your illness how was he acting - did you feel like he was withdrawing at all?
Please don't take this one the wrong way but did you talk on and on about how you were sick?
I would be really hurt if my bf didn't show that he cared about my health. But i'm not sure if this is something to begin calling a dealbreaker. If your relationship is otherwise going very well (keep in mind it is only early days) then maybe give it some more time. If he has a pattern of flaky behaviour then perhaps, reconsider if this is the guy for you.
Fri Sep 25 2009 - 08:17 am
and, is he still away for work?
Fri Sep 25 2009 - 09:44 am
Don't people in the early stages of being exclusive usually call every day anyway sick or no..? How busy can he be out of town away from friends? I would get back to my hotel room alone at the end of the day and be thinking of my sweetie for sure...
Fri Sep 25 2009 - 12:22 pm
AnginMJ - I think you need to ask yourself how much of a big deal this is to you. What does your gut tell you? Try to take the emotions out of it, which I know is hard to do because you are emotionally involved in it and on top of that you are sick. To some people it may not be a big deal -- I know a couple who have been married for ten years and when they are out of town, they hardly talk, but that works for both of them.
If you are the type of person that wants a guy who will show you that something extra when you are ill, and this guy does not. Or someone who wants that daily contact, and he doesn't seem to need that same then, then take him at face value for what he is. Don't expect him to be something he is not. You need to ask yourself if this is the type of person he is, is he going to make you happy in the long run.
For me, I am a emotional person and I get my feelings hurt easy. I have learned that I need a guy who reads that in me and is willing to come out of his tough man mode to give it to me, or I end up frustrated and feeling neglected. Does that make me needy - no, not at all, it just means I need a certain type of guy. Don't settle, or try to make him be what he is not or you will be unhappy.
Fri Sep 25 2009 - 12:35 pm
Angin,
This is coming from one sick to person to another over there..lol! You sound much worse off than me, I just have the flu..
But, getting to your issue over there, yes! I would be hurt, offended, pissed off and all of the above. And, when you are sick it tends to make us less patient and with more demand and expectation.
The relationship is still new and so you two are still learning each other. You sound like, when you are not sick, you are independent, confident person. That is probably all he knows..He has never been with you sick right? To boot, he is out of town working..Boy he is being tested and he doesn't even know it! And of course he is failing miserable....
I would suggest waiting for him to come home and then having a talk about hurt feelings, expectations and disappointment..Men are IGNORANT when it comes to this stuff..
If he does this again down the road over a similar issue and with the same response..then I would say, kick him to the curb! Or decide you can live with his insensitivity..
Fri Sep 25 2009 - 12:37 pm
Strong...the new thread is under breakup. ;) bye, have to go to work.
Fri Sep 25 2009 - 02:00 pm
Okay...I so appreciate the responses!!! And here's more info...
We have discussed our "feelings" both admit to feeling but cannot call it love and have agreed we are only seeing each other.
Even when he is home he does not call daily nor do we see each other daily.
For "new" well I didn't think we were still "early" stages of the relationship...but I don't know when that passes either as we were dating since April but had the exclusive talk in June and the feeling talk in August. With him bringing it up both times.
He is not the call you everyday, kind of guy I wish he was but he is not and I can accept that, under normal circumstances. And yes, I am drugged up until Saturday with side effects being numerous...so I would think my brain is not working at full par and slightly emotional right now.
I did not go on and on about how sick I was as I am not like that...simply stated what was wrong.
He does have lots on his mind with this new job, and as of Monday wasn't sure he was even staying there, he owns three businesses and has contact with all three on a daily basis...not sure how he does it but he does.
Me feeling emotional, I feel I should have been put to the top of his priority list...taking the emotions out...this is nothing new and really not a big deal if we don't talk I am being pissy cause I was SICK!!
I love the comment, "he's being tested and doesn't even know it and failing miserably"...cause that's exactly what is going through my mind. And if this is how it is going to be then maybe he is not the one for me...although I am not quite ready to accept that yet!!
So, if we are still in the early stages, that means I still do not call? (of course I will not at this point until I hear from him) but I have probably called him out of the blue around 4 times since getting together...and keep telling myself not to call but it sure is hard!!
Please enlighten me again!!! And thanks so much for the comments each one was a gift for me...I raced home at lunch just to see if anyone had responded yet!!
Sat Sep 26 2009 - 11:36 am
Little update...went out with friends and had a few drinks...MR. Man decides to call and I decide it is probably not best to talk to him at this time.
Well he proceeded calling me at home and on my cell a few times throughout the night and this morning but it was way too early to get up and answer that phone!!
Once I am awake I shall make that return phone call back to him!!
Sat Sep 26 2009 - 05:55 pm
Got it! Don't call...he is taking the lead and this is what men want according to Paige. Listen to her, she's on to something! lol yes, a return call is acceptable, that is if he's not being abusive in anyway. :)
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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