Party Girl-

I don't think you are in the wrong here at all. If he can tell the other coach he has to leave by seven for the hockey game, then why could he have not done the same for your dinner plans?

What did he say in the text fight? If it's not too personal it might be helpful to know that.

I am going through some issues of my own with my BF and people have been pretty helpful with suggestions. It sounds like your guy may feel like he is losing his independence a little bit.

One thing that I have been told before that was GREAT for my sense of well being in the relationship is that you should adopt a "monkey see, monkey do" attitude. If he's not calling you and asking you out, then you don't call and ask him out. If he's making excuses why he can't spend time with you then next time he asks you out YOU make an excuse why you can't spend time with HIM.

It may seem a little manipulative, but used correctly it ensures that you are only giving what you get. And that goes a long way in not making you feel like you are the one making all the effort.

I have a 3 year old son who he is very good with...

I had messaged him and said "I would for once just like to feel that i dont have to compete with everything else going on in your life"
His response was:
"what the f are you talking about, I compete everyday in your life. Get use to it, i do"

This has to be in regards to my son! THAT WAS SO LOW! I am completely hurt with that comment!

AM I WRONG!?!?!?

Hi Party Girl,

What was the last thing he said to you by text?.

I just read your last thread. Your instinct seems to be telling you something is not right and he is pulling away. For some reason you are not a priority in his life and this has hurt you. You sound insecure and vulnerable, which I understand.

Guess he is picked up on your emotion. It is hard to oomment, as I do not know what the fight was about.

You will be hurting like hell, but I think NC mode is the only way forward. Certainly a cooling off period and a period of reflection would be good for both of you.

If he cares about you and wants you he will come back., it is painful to work through no contact, but it can be successful and maybe it will draw him out to answer some of your concerns.

I am in NC mode at the moment, it is hard. Deep down I know I have blown it and will not see him again. I keep my fingers crossed that he will come back around.

I am sure he will text u when he has cooled off.

Daisey Belle

Daisey- I feel your pain... I am in "no initiating contact" mode with my BF of three years and it is hard as hell.

On a lighter side I have nick named the operation "Space: The Final Frontier" cause I am giving him "space" and if it doesn't work it's going to be the "final frontier" of our relationship. ha ha :)

Party Girl- That was a low blow !!!

Let's try and figure out where it came from.... Could it be that when he IS asking you out you turn him down often due to obligations with your son, but then expect him not to have any obligations of his own when you want to see him? I don't mean to come off as harsh or lay blame, but that is a pretty low statement for someone to make with nothing to back it up.

If you are the one turning him down often then he may be trying the "monkey see, monkey do" approach with YOU. (Sucks when they get wise and turn our own strategies on us, doesn't it).

Let me know if this is a valid possibility.

Not at all!

I think the thing is that I am always available...
I make him dinner, go to all his games whether hs is coaching/ playing. Totally SUPPORT HIM! I feel like I am devoting all my time to him and my son. Never an issue with my son! Always get sitters or we hang out together.... Maybe the pressure of being a "father figure?" He is 30 years old.... Never married, no Kids?

Still this is a LOW blow! Totally hurt my feelings!
Still hasnt had no contact with me today.... last talked at 7 last night. I shouldnt text or call right?!

I think at this point the best thing to do is just give him space and when he does come back (and I think he will), adopt the monkey see, monkey do approach.

Make sure that you are letting him do the chasing and let him "be the man" in the relationship. Maybe he feels a little threatened by a woman who is able to juggle so many important things in her life seemingly with ease.

Just try not to freak out, and I think in a very short time he will contact you.

DO NOT CONTACT HIM. NO MATTER WHAT.

If he loves you and wants to be with you he will contact you. In the meantime, maybe sort of pretend he is out of town or something and get busy doing your own things. It's gonna be hard, but you can do it ! :)

Aimee, I LOVE IT!

On a lighter side I have nick named the operation "Space: The Final Frontier" cause I am giving him "space" and if it doesn't work it's going to be the "final frontier" of our relationship. ha ha :)

SPACE - the FINAL Frrrrontier.

Love it, Aimee:)))
You're so witty
And you're pretty..lala...lala..lalala..la,laaaaaa

Auds
xoxox

Oh, and it may be helpful to note that it usually takes about three days to break any kind of habit, or at least get the impulses to a point where they can be managed.

So, if you can not contact him for 72 hours (and I would be surprised if he did not contact you before then) then you should be in a more manageable spot by the end of the weekend.

Thanks Audrey ! You're always so sweet in your posts :)

I sure hope he does.... I hate this yuck feeling.
We normally have a GREAT relationship with Bragging rights... this fight makes me so upset... This is prob the 1st real fight.
We have not said the I LOVE YOU'S yet... but i think that its there... maybe to hear something like that would make me feel better... i just want to know i AM A PRIORITY TO HIM!

I FEEL LIKE WHAT YOU SAID I NEED TO DO! NOT TO CONTACT HIM... i THINK I DESERVE TO BE CHASED!

I guess i stay occupied and try to let the time pass. ITS SO HARD!
his dad is or has had surgery today... Maybe this is consuming his time and thougth process???

Waiting sucks! :(

AIMEE,
"Oh, and it may be helpful to note that it usually takes about three days ..."

it took me thirty YEARS... GRRRRR!
Audsie
xoxox

Party Girl- This whole "wanting to feel wanted" and "he needs to chase me" feeling is soooo normal for all of us !

Look at me, I have been with this man for THREE YEARS and am not having to institute this "Space" operation.... it's so crappy.

But, all of these girls are right... when a man is coming after you, asking you out, and initiating the contact because you AREN'T doing those things you NEVER have to ask yourself where you stand. You know right away that you either are or aren't a priority.

If your relationship is normally good (as mine is as well) then I can guarantee you with 100% conviction that he is going to start chasing you again. Every time I have done this in the past it has worked like a complete charm and he has contacted me WAY sooner than I thought he would. Men are pretty intuitive sometimes, and if he gets the vibe that something is different and he cares about you, then he is going to try and find out what's up.

If he is having this thing with his Dad this weekend, then no, he may not call you because he's dealing with that. Like I said, just pretend in your own mind that he's out of the country. It's a little silly, but sometimes it makes the no contact thing easier to deal with.

Ok, last post was my pep talk to get through the no contact phase.

What's more important is what you do when he contacts you again.

The way I see it, any kind of needy behavior , i.e. "I need to know I'm important to you", "I need to know where we stand", etc.... is almost like a mini ultimatum to a guy. It's like you are trying to take the relationship to the next level, and he may or may not be interested in that.

So, when he calls.... you have a three step process:

1. DO NOT MENTION WHAT HAPPENED. Do not bring it up. Ever. Again. If he brings it up, then you briefly say something like "Hey, I was just feeling a little crappy that day. I think things are great between us and I love spending time with you." Then you drop it. Completely.

2. YOU STAY BUSY WITH YOUR OWN LIFE AND PLAY THE MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO GAME. That way you never put yourself emotionally in this situation again. If he is always coming to you, then you always know where you stand on his "list".

3. UNTIL YOU ARE SURE YOU ARE #1 ON HIS LIST, DON'T MAKE HIM #1 ON YOURS. Again, this keeps the relationship fair and balanced.

If you follow those steps, you should be fine.

Keep in mind though, this is a process that should become ingrained into your very being. My problem has always been that I do this for awhile and then I stop, become needy again, and the whole damn vicious cycle starts all over :/ Ugh.

Aimee, you are so correct that it's not even funny.
That's it in a nutshell.
Beautiful!
And beautifully summarized.

Now, you have a job to do:
Put THAT post over on SM's list of stuff you've learned/lessons...
I forgot what it's called but it's a COLLECTION, okay?

Go do THAT...Skoot!
Auds
xoxox

Dang Aimee... your so right!
I am usually the strong one giving the advise! I will do my very best to follow that. I hate the fear of NO CONTACT!

In someways i am getting the feeling of KARMA! (Fighting mode)
i was the same dang way with my 2 previous relationships...(acting like the H.B.I.C.)

I HAVE TOTALLY MET MY MATCH! someone who acts like i once did to others...

Dang now i feel bad for those guys... got a taste of my own medicine!

And if he doesnt contact me... ????

P.S.
Doesnt the

CONSTANT PHONE WATCH SUCK!

Party Girl - I am laughing right now. Don't beat yourself up. Seriously, I have my own issues. Read the "Need Serious Help" and "Depression In Men" threads under Relationships and you'll see ALL of us can give great advice and be crappy at following it.

But hey, if it makes you feel any better, at least you know someone else is following the same game plan, and having a buddy is always good :)

He will contact you. I do not feel in my gut that it was a relationship ender. If he has not called you by Wed of next week, we'll explore other options.

Yes phone watch sucks, that's why you DON'T DO IT !!! Get a crowbar and pry yourself off of that thing ! Now ! :)

Audrey- I will attempt to post on the other thread for you. If I can help someone else and pass on all the good advice I have been given I am certainly willing to do that :)

By the way Party Girl, what the heck is a HBIC???

LOL
Thanks Aimee you really made me laugh and smile!

H.B.I.C = HEAD B!#$% IN CHARGE!

Seriously... Those other guys didnt stand a chance. i was so "in charge" they couldnt break me.

One thing i always brag about is how we "share" responsibility in our relationship. and how neither of us are in "charge"

Now im starting to feel "not so much"

YES, AIMEE... if you blew me away with that post...well then...
YOU are a helluva woman:)

The learner is the teacher and the teachER, thereby, LEARNS.

I'm sooo lovin' you, GF. (Did you catch that "ER"?... sure you did!)

Auds
xoxox

Hehehe... head-b!tch-in-charge.
LOVE IT!

Gawd, more tiaras on the way!
I LOVE DWD...did I mention?
Auds
xoxox

LMFAO!

Auds,
Its true...

I used to be the H.B.I.C In the past...

You guys are too funny !

I too like the "neither one is in charge" approach. But here's the thing.... that's kind of a myth. Someone is always in charge about something.

You may be in charge when it comes to emotional aspects and he may be in charge when it comes to physical aspects. The important thing is that you work together.

My BF told me last night that I was a "great teammate". I think that is one of the highest compliments I have ever gotten :)

oh how cute!

1 of the greates compliments my bf ever gave was:

"YOUR A BREATH OF FRESH AIR"

2ND FAV IS:

"Dont be self conscious of your stretch marks... it signifies that you gave someone a life"

Now im sad... last i heard from his text last night was so ****ty compared to those great things he has said in the past.. :(

See, those things should give you confidence that things are going to work out.

A man who has spent almost a year and a half getting to know you is not going to walk away over a silly little argument.

And look at it this way.... if you guys are going to make it long term you are going to weather MUCH worse things. Like him calling the cops on you. Just kidding !

But all kidding aside, if he cannot handle something so small then chalk it up to "dodging a bullet" and be happy that you found this out without any more lost time.

I really don't think you have anything to worry about though. I know the waiting is excrutiating, but just try to find something to keep yourself busy with. Go shopping !

I appreciate all that you have said Aimee and helping me through this.

NO COP CALLING! LOL

Ill keep busy... I better get some crap done!

If he ever calls or text ill let you know...
Hopefully soon :(
He's hard headed...

And i wish poeple would quit texting me if they are not him.. i get all hopeful!

Oh, and this is kind of random, but I think it's a good example of the back off and he will come to you motto.

Last night I was at his house around 6:30 and the game did not start till 8. So I am out on the back porch reading something for work (a law journal, fun fun fun) and he is in the house playing video games.

Up until this point he has been basically sucked into this video game and had not been paying a whole lot of attention to me, but as soon as I go do something else, GUESS WHAT !, within 10 minutes he turned off the game, brought me a glass of wine, sat down and started talking to me about how my work was going.

Moral of the story: As soon as he is not the center of your world, he gets worried and wants to know "what happened?". Make him a little worried :)

Ha ha ha... and I know how the whole "other people" thing goes.... as soon as your are waiting for a text or call it seems like everyone BUT that person suddenly needs to get in touch with you.

Good luck and keep us posted ! Feel free to email directly if you want. I'm happy to help :)

I wonder if he is worried right now or not?
Because I ALWAYS give in... and my time its almost 1pm. On a normal basis we start texting about 8 a.m.

Could be the dad surgery thing...
or
(He's a teacher)
So maybe he is at work??? teaching?

I hope he is thinking of me! I want him to be playing the phone watch game just like i am!

You don't know if he's at work or not? What kind of teacher is he?

And yes, he has probably thought about you 100 times already. If he is angry though, which he probably is not, it may take him a day or two.

My gut says you'll get a call tomorrow if not later tonight.

HANG IN THERE AND DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE URGE TO CALL !

YOU CAN DO IT !!! :)

We hadnt got that far in the convo yesterday to know if he was going to wait for his dad to get outta surgery... or just take care of him when he got out. I also didnt get to ask what time his surgery was at either. So I am in the dark!

He's a 3rd grade teacher.

Man i wanna text him so bad... I just wanna know if his dad is ok, and to have some kinda convo with him.

He was pretty pissed at me last night... He thinks he did nothing wrong... Thats what makes me think he'll expect me to text or call first.

Well in his mind his anger is justified, just like in my BF's head it was fine for him to call the cops cause it was "the last straw".

Does it mean it's fine.... no ! But, as they say, men respond to distance, not words.

I would not contact him today. If you have not heard from him by 3 p.m. ish tomorrow then I would send him a text asking how his Dad is.

What is your normal plan for the weekend? Do you just meet up occasionally with him or are you over there staying with him? How does that normally work?

Thats true he prob feels that his anger is justified~

I hope this distance thing works AIMEE!

We normally see each other thurs or fridays through the whole weekend...
He stays over my house.

But last time he slept over was last thursday...
then this past weekend he was busy with that whole football tournament and DIDNT sleep over or anything...
Which is were this whole thing started to make me feel like we needed our "us" time.

Here we are a week later :( and look how crappy my weekend is starting.

To top it off yesterday he had already started saying he didnt know about our plans for the weekend cause his dad...
then my anger started with the whole cx plans then inviting to the hocky game... did i mention that he told me to get tickets for the bronco game this weekend!?!?! Im like and your dad!??!
See how this all built up???

It sounds like he is making excuses about not being able to spend time with you but then asking you to get the tickets means he would be going to the game with you, right?

I am thinking more and more that this issue is about him making moves and pursuing you and spending time with you on his own terms.

Which to some extent is fine. It shows he has a strong sense of self and does not want to lose it. If that is the case, then yes, the backing off thing is def. going to work.

Al you have to do it chill out a little bit and he will be fine. Just let him do all the work from now on. And I am not saying that you can NEVER invite him to do anything or NEVER call him.... just make it like a 10 to 1 ratio :)

Text him late tomorrow afternoon if you have no word from him and ask how his Dad is. I would not mention the Broncos game at all. If he wants to do that with you HE should be getting those tickets.

AND THAT IS WHY HE SAID THAT HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HE DID WRONG!

Ok this sounds so bad... this was one of his text to me k

Im not making you feel like a piec of sh!t, your doin it to yourself, I konw what is important to you and i do my best to take care of him and yet your acting like im bein selfish cuz i have to plan a effin banquet and i have to watch a game that i invited you too... what the f did i do wrong?

when i read that, makes me feel like i am wrong. last text to him was from me though...

(after the low blow comment)
it said:

i dont wanna fight... sorry if i ruined your night, I hope you werent talking about my son though... that'll break my heart.

Yeah, I just think you guys need some cool off time.

Things will work out... maybe he will call tonight. Just give him some time and then text tomorrow if you don't hear from him.

Please keep me posted on how this works out. I hate not knowing the ends of stories.

I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS :)

Hopefully its for the better!
Thanks!

OMG I am so sad, I dont know what to think!?

So i gave in yesterday and text him... even though i know i wasnt supposed to text him... i did. (around 3 pm)

(I told him i know he was prob still upset with me, and regardless i care about him, and wanted to know how his dad's surgery went...)

HE TEXT ME AN HOUR LATER AND SAID:

He's doing well thanx

Its driving me crazy... i talked to my dad of all people... and he says....

"he wants out, he doesnt want to be with you"

Makes me so sad... I text him again and said... (7pm)

"feel like talking?"

AN HOUR PASSES AND HE SAYS:

Not right now

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME? I CRIED ALL NIGHT, BEEN SO DEVASTATED...
Is he going to break up with me?
What do i do? I hate waiting and feeling so torn up!

OK..... I am about to get harsh with you so prepare yourself.

WHY DID YOU TEXT HIM?!!!!?? BAD BAD GIRL !

Alright, now that that's out of my system....

Look, we all make mistakes and we all screw up.

However, I can guarantee you in this situation if you keep contacting him you are going to push him further away. HE NEEDS SPACE ! Give it to him !

Unless this has been an ongoing problem or issue in your relationship (him needing "man time", you not giving it to him, etc.) then he is not going to walk away because of this fight.

BUT, and this is a big BUT, if he obviously needs some time to cool off (and he does) and you DO NOT GIVE IT TO HIM, you are going to be much more hurt and upset than you are right now because he is going to view you as someone who cannot respect his time and other commitments.

DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN. PERIOD. At this point, he needs to come to you. And in all honesty you may have increased the time it is going to take him to do that, which is not going to be any easier on you.

Chances are that if he is used to spending the weekend with you and doesn't that he is going to start to miss you and want to get together. But you can't contact him again !

Ps. And in this situation, don't listen to your Dad. Dad's always want the best for their little girls and he is just trying to save you the heart ache.

He's wrong. If the guy wanted out he would not have replied to your texts at all. He would just have vanished into thin air or said "I'm done talking about it" or something to that effect.

I think it was my dad's fault... telling me that (my bf) is going to end it with me...

Hearing that seriously broke my heart and forced me into wanting to know RIGHT THEN AND THERE!

After i recieved his messaged saying " not right now"

Broke me Aimee!!!!
I am devastated... My eyes look like marshmellows....

I WILL NOT TEXT OR CALL HIM TODAY!

you think its just space???? I dont get it... How can i be left in LIMBO?!?!? WAITING, CRYING, WAITING, CRYING

I thought about this all night...
I have never done anything wrong to this man, he has said it himself... "i cant say anything bad about you"

I am so scared to let go of someone that i put all my heart, trust, care concered feelings into... and even thought we never say it.. I am certain that I LOVE HIM...

I hate waiting... but i know that i def donnot want to push him away.

How do i handle this? I dont know how to function today...

I wish i knew that he missed me or would be sad to lose me...

I AM HEARBROKEN!

OK, first of all, you have to chill.

You know the whole cop thing that happened with me recently? I went home that night CONVINCED that it was over with me and the BF. In my mind, how could it not be?! I cried myself to sleep, called my Mom at 1 in the morning, threw up the next morning, etc. It was bad.

Then the next day when I called him.... shock of all shocks.... he acted almost like NOTHING had happened. Said "of course" he wanted to spend the weekend with me.

My point is, HE is not doing what YOU are doing right now. And that should be a big wake up call for you. He is irritated, but he is going about his life mostly as normal. YOU should be doing the same.

You have to reach a point in your own self that you can say, "if it's over, it's over and I will move on". It's easier said than done, and keep in mind that I was you 7 days ago, but you have to do it.

You have to realize that yes, you had a fight but it should not have been a relationship ender and if he makes it into that it's HIS LOSS !!!

To answer your questions:

1. Yes I think it is just him needing a little bit of cool down time, which is must less crappy that him needing space. One time my BF needed SPACE and I had to do the no contact thing for 5 days. Imagine how crummy that was!

2. In his mind he is not leaving you in limbo. He knows where you stand (which is, "we had a fight, I need some cool down time, and I need to deal with my Dad's surgery") and he assumes that you do too.

3. He probably doesn't miss you cause he doesn't think you are gone. No need to miss someone who's still there, so to speak.

4. Yes, after more than a year he would be sad to lose you, however, I doubt that possibility is even on his mind.

Next post is going to be about YOU not HIM.... we'll see if you can't empower yourself a little bit and get through this, and anything else life might throw at you, like a champ ! :)

Hi Partygirl

Sorry you are going through this :-(

Not sure whether I entirely agree with Aimee that your Dad is wrong in this case. Horrible as it may seem, some men are gutless and prefer to just 'cool off' hoping that the woman will take a hint rather than have the guts to just end the relationship.

That said, I agree entirely with everything else Aimee has said; you must back off and give him some space. If I am wrong and all he genuinely wants is some 'man time', if he doesn't hear from you then the likelihood is that he will soon start to miss you. But keep texting and you'll just seem clingy and he'll get irritated.

Hope it all works out x

OK, this post is about you.

Yes, you had a fight, yes, it sucks, and yes, you have a right to be feeling what you are feeling right now.

BUT.... you cannot let your emotions rule your life !

Remember the 3 step process that I mentioned earlier?

In case you forgot, here it is again:

1. DO NOT MENTION WHAT HAPPENED. Do not bring it up. Ever. Again. If he brings it up, then you briefly say something like "Hey, I was just feeling a little crappy that day. I think things are great between us and I love spending time with you." Then you drop it. Completely.

2. YOU STAY BUSY WITH YOUR OWN LIFE AND PLAY THE MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO GAME. That way you never put yourself emotionally in this situation again. If he is always coming to you, then you always know where you stand on his "list".

3. UNTIL YOU ARE SURE YOU ARE #1 ON HIS LIST, DON'T MAKE HIM #1 ON YOURS. Again, this keeps the relationship fair and balanced.

Even though he has had very little contact with you, you can start doing these things NOW.... and guess what, you're already breaking the rules for step 2 and 3 !!!

You are not staying busy with your own life, you are moping about your relationship and you are making him #1 on your list even though you are obviously not his top priority right now ! The good news is that you have the power to stop doing both of these things ! This VERY INSTANT if you so choose !

Did you get the key phrase there? YOU HAVE THE POWER !

So, change your frame of mind and it will change your life ! Stop worrying about him and worry about YOU. How is it making you feel to be all weepy and worried about him? NOT GOOD ! Go do something that is going to make yourself feel good !

Go look in a mirror and say to yourself "I am a beautiful, competent, intelligent woman. Any man would be crazy not to want me in his life!" Repeat until you BELIEVE it.

Then go grab a coffee. Smile at the cute guy behind the counter. If it's in your budget, go get a pedicure or a new eyeshadow or a cute cheap piece of jewelry.

My point here is, whether or not your relationship is at a great high point or at what you feel is a crummy low point, your focus should not be on him. It should be on YOU. Cause at the end of the day, YOU are the only person YOU have control over. Keep that control and NEVER hand it to someone else.

Dang Aimee,
Its hard to believe that you dealt with what you did like a champ.
And i too feel like puking!

What a shock! He was just fine?
Dang...
I hope I could be shocked and hear something that makes me happy instead of sad.

Like i had told you before... I usually am the one giving advice!
If we break up... I will say ok.. as hard as that will be...
I KNOW HE'LL REGRET LETTING ME GO!

I wish i could post a picture of myself on here but for fear of someone knowing us i wont...

I am NOT a busted chick~
I can say with confidence and not being conceited... I am a pretty girl with good intentions. I am a good mommy! I am smart and have allot to bring to the table. Im 25 and proud of my 3 yr old son who i take care of ON MY OWN...I am independant, I have my own house, own car, pay my own bills... and genuinely have good thoughts, intentions and feelings for those who know me. I am a lover not a fighter, but will bust someone up if need be. lol

My point is Aimee...
I am WORTH it! I Deserve to be a priority and not someones option...
I am a dam good GIRLFRIEND! and i have said this a million times...
"IF HE DOESNT WANT ME... SOMEONE WILL"

I hope he knows this and realizes it before its too late...

I soooo did not handle it like a champ. Believe me. I handled it better than I have handled other things in the past, but a champ I was not. :)

Anyone can start being a champ or a Goddess as most people refer to it on this site at anytime though! All you have to do is make that decision.

So.... you know how you said in your text "regardless I care about you" or something to that extent? Stop saying crap like that. He knows you care about him or you would not want to spend time with him.

Stop being so darn nice all the time. I feel like you and I have a lot of similarities in our relationship styles and as I have said in previous posts, every time I have backed off and started worrying about me and not about him it has had wondrous effects on the relationship. My only problem is that I embody that behavior only as long as it takes for him to come around and then stop.

With the help of a close friend I am attempting to adopt those attitudes as LIFESTYLE CHANGES, not just temporary fixer uppers. :)

So don't contact him at all. Do you have any stuff at his place? Just curious. It will help me devise a strategy moving forward for you.

Oh and in response to Smiler's post, she's right, some guys are giant crap heads and do use the whole space thing as an excuse to just end things, but I don't think that's the case here.

But if it is, thank your lucky stars that you find out your man was such a wuss this early. That would have been horrible in the long term.

Lord knows there is nothing more terrible than a man who is not a MAN.

smiler-
I totally understand what your saying...

The reason I am so in love with this man is because he has proven to me that he is DIFFERENT. I dont think he would be that heartless...
It took him a WHOLE YEAR to be intamate with me! How many men you know to that? I know 1... him

I hope to god i am not wrong! and i hope he does miss me and not want to break up.

I am tore up about this...

Thanks for your post and advice!

Ya i can understand that AIMEE...
when crap is coming down on you... i hardly know anyone that can handle it with ease unless there are no real feelings...

I am to dam nice :(
Do we have similar styles? nice and get kicked back to reality every other time?

DAMMM........
Looking around my house (since we are there all the time)
I find his work clothes, beanies, football stuff... movies.... his camara...shoes... etc

that **** sucks... looking around and seeing the wine we got from a winery... wine glasses he bought me... his gift he brought me from new zealand.... pictures... and one of the most hurtful things...

I have a dry erase board on my fridge...
one day it had my goal weight (for inspiration)

He stayed at my house, cleaned my kitchen... and when i got home i noticed he wrote on it. It said:

"To the world you are one person, to one person you are the world"

FEEL THE HURT???

Party Girl ! Snap out of it !

Do you seriously think a man who would leave all of that at your place and write something like that to you is NEVER GOING TO CONTACT you again?!

Come on, I know you are smarter than that. All he needs is cool down time. But you have got to snap yourself out of this funk or it is going to do serious damage to YOU.

If a man had that many things at my place I would NOT be worried AT ALL about if he was going to break up with me.

I honestly think if things were over you would know by now. Just try and get busy with something else. You have what sounds like a good man who just may not be feeling like his time is respected as much as yours is and he's pissy about it. If you react like this every time he gets pissy you are in for a lifetime of crappy feelings.

Take the attitude that what he is doing right now is his business and you are going to carry on with your business and then CARRY ON WITH IT.

And yes, I have done the "be nice, get stomped on" cycle loads of times. Luckily now I have a good man who 90% of the time does not take the fact that I am a nice person for granted. Notice I said 90% of the time. The other 10% he can be a jerk. :) ha ha.