advice please!!!

Ok,I have a boy friend that I have been with for about a year,I know that he cares and yes I do to we had been talking about marriage and and children together, we were great together and solved problems amazing together, we never had drama, and then a few things happened this summer and started causing us to fight bad and dramatic, then an ex came into his life that has been wanting to get back with him and is really good friends with his good friends, so when he goes out with them she is always there, and trying something, at first I would let it go and then it really bothered me, I have no doubt in my mind that he would cheat, but yes I will admit this summer I caused alot of fights with him about it, wrong I know!!!! and so we broke up over the summer, and we started talking agreeing that we both wanted to work things out but now if he has plans to go with his friends he refuses to let me come if she will be there or has a chance, now trust is not the issue here, I have tried to show him that I am not about fighting anymore, by not fighting with him in a few months, maybe a little spat or what not but nothing you would think twice about, when I come to him about a problem I always address it as my feelings and not his actions! well that has been ever since July and we are still not together I will say though that he did deploy in August an just came home last week, things were great HE brought up marraige and me moving with him if he ever had gotten stationed elsewhere, well when he came back the second night back he was going out with his friends and yes the ones she is friends with and yes I waited for him his whole deployment I was a little upset that I didnt even get to go out with him cause soley of the fact that she was going to be there, and he didnt want it to be awkward! well the next day we got together and talked and agreed that we wouldnt be acting as a couple until we were actually a couple, well ever since friday night when that happened he has not called or anything, he told me he wanted to hang out this weekend and so I textedhim and asked what time we would be hanging out so I could arrange plans around that then he canceled and then said monday so now its monday and he has canceled again and wants to hang out another day this week, I really want to go back to what I normally do is just do a no hanging out basis until we are together but he begged me not to that if things couldnt work out as a couple he still wanted to be friends,,,I am so lost, Im giving him his space and spending time with my friends and family and really enjoying life, but I really hate it when I get no text, on the day we are suppose to be together or a text sayin he is busy and we had nothing technically set in stone, I did tell him that I was tired of being stood up and that I was not hanging out with him unless we had something set in stone and that it hurts my feelings when I get stood up that I deserve better then that, he just apologized and said he was sorry he just didnt want to fight, I had no idea where he even came up with that, everything was great on my part, and then he said he was scared cause of how it was in the past, how do I get him to stop dwelling in the past and move forward, if he wants to be with me he has to try and move forward, and stop dwelling, I do love him and want things to work but Im not going to be his insurance policy when he only calls when he wants and doesnt give a little too! Maybe I answered my own question but its so nice to hear other womens points of veiw on this!!!