ABRUPTIONS...Those relationships that suddenly end for no obvious reasons..
Sat Oct 31 2009 - 06:43 am
Let's use this area as a waste dump/ f/ these types of relationships. Although it is not always obvious to see the good that comes f/ these relationships, ALL of them do have some measure of value within them.
We can use this thread to sift through them, retrieve the treasure w/i them, and leave the rest of the rubble here.
Sat Oct 31 2009 - 06:48 am
My relationship turned out to be an abruption. Although I'm still in the beginning stages of it and feeling violated by the whole experience, I'm beginning to see what a blessing this was in disguise. It proved his emotional unavailability and immaturity and it proved to me that I'm worth something better. A relationship where my wants/needs/ desires are a priority on a consistent regular basis. It brang clarity to me for what I want in a relationship.
Sun Nov 01 2009 - 07:56 pm
My relationship abruptly ended after two and a half months. Everything was going wonderfully, we were having so much fun, and enjoyed each others company. Then out of the blue he said he couldn't handle the responsibility of a long term relationship and he wanted to do what he wants, when he wants it. But, we can still be friends and go out dancing on the weekend. This is the first time I let my guard down to really fall in love (he was so different than the other jerks I had)and now I am so heartbroken. I know in time I will get over him, but right now I don'[t know if I want to. I still think I would like to go dancing with him at least. Am I really stupid or naive? I don't know what I should do.
Sun Nov 01 2009 - 10:05 pm
How appropriate for me to have stumbled upon this today.
I am really focusing on what I learned from my relationship also. I could sit back and cry wondering why this happened to me blah, blah, blah......or I can learn from it, never make the same mistakes again and realize that THIS is the reason this man came into my life.
I am now better equipped to love and keep the man who deserves me and all the great things I have to offer.
Mon Nov 02 2009 - 01:14 am
Talk about ABRUPT: I am still trying to figure out what happened. Guess the jerk couldn't handle any relationship rough patches. Talk about being emotionally VIOLATED. I still cannot seem to gain any clarity on why the relationship ended except for the last hours when it did end.
Still makes no sense to me and still seems ridiculous after being so happy together.
I am looking forward to meeting Mr. "I'll be there no matter what" rather than Mr. "Way to not be there" :o )) (SMERK)
Tue Nov 03 2009 - 01:36 am
Cherly,
I am so sorry that when you finally let your guard down, he failed you.
What else are men for?
Just kidding.
Actually, I feel the same way.
So sorry it has happened to you.
Tue Nov 03 2009 - 04:18 am
Cheryl and all the other lovely, strong, commitment worthy women here,
Don't ever settle f/ the "crumbs"! (dbl entendre-hehe!)
These type of guys are the "Want Your Cake And Eat It Too" kinda guys.
Why should we waste our precious time "just being friends"..keeping them company while they're keeping their options open. Were we looking for friendship here? Don't we have true friends who would never negate our feelings in such a way?!
Go out dancing with your REAL friends and enjoy yourself.
And definitely go into No Contact mode...don't play w/ your own heart by letting someone else play with it.
Commitmentphobes lack the vision of what a rich lasting relationship provides and if they're not already thinking "She's the one"...they're obviously not looking f/ "The One". Don't become an ego boost f/ one of these emotionally unavailable buffoons. You have to value your own feelings first.
Love IS all around! Leave yourself open for it...can't get water f/ a dry well.
Tue Nov 03 2009 - 09:32 am
ADVICE NEEDED!!!
What would a Goddess do????
I was in NC for almost 2 weeks. No argument. No drama. No explanation. I was just not getting what I needed, so I went NC.
Broke down yesterday and text. Basically wished him well and said that it sucks that we can't remain friends and that I will not pretend that I don't care that it is over because that would be dishonest.
Not mean, very calm. (remember....there was never a discussion of this being "over" so from his perspective this probably is coming out of left field)
No response until today.....
(paraphrasing.....) "I'm sorry....been busy...out of town a lot and leaving again tonight....how are you?"
I responded ...again stating something about how it is unfortunate we could not have been friends because we do care for eachother. No hard feeling and no regrets....hope he has good memories just like I do.
His response is "Call me as soon as you have a chance"
What would a Goddess do? Do I ignore him? Do I need to explain WHY I couldn't do this anymore? (I am sure he knows if he really, really digs deep enough to look at himself and his behaviors). I know he wants an explanation and also a chance to talk me into "not leaving".
He is a coward for not calling me and asking me to call him. I know he should be the one to call.
BUT.....I am doing the typical "girl" thing and thinking that I don't want to be rude or mean or make him mad, so I should call. I am making excuses for him. Also, I don't want to seeem like I am playing games or acting psycho by not giving any type of explanation.
HELP????!!!!
p.s. I do want to be with this man...but I don't think he is capable of giving me what I deserve.
THanks in advance.
(BTW.....this is also posted elsewhere, but I am not getting feedback...so I reposted)
Tue Nov 03 2009 - 09:45 am
dwd,
Don't call! If he wants to talk to you and if it is important to him he will try again. A Goddess would not. You said he probably knows why you went into no contact. If he wants you out, he will come get you. You have the power now, over yourself above all. Don't give it back to him.
You said he is not capable of giving you what you deserve, there lies your answer. Stop wasting your precious heart. I did something very similar to what you did after week 2 or 3 and I regretted it. I did not get the response that I so wanted and it hurt all over again. He did talk to me but only to confirm what I already knew. He was emotionally retarded.
Tue Nov 03 2009 - 09:58 am
HEY, NUTS!
Do NOT call him. period.
You said, you are doing the "typical" girl thing.
YOU ARE NOT TYPICAL...YOU ARE GODDESS. (in training)
His response is "Call me as soon as you have a chance"
You didn't get a chance...YOU ARE BUSY. Duh!
You don't need HELP!!!
You KNOW WHAT (not) to do.
remember: You stay put; he comes to you... (repeat... a brazillion times)
Auds
xoxox
Tue Nov 03 2009 - 09:58 am
Robin,
Is he thinking that this NC all of a sudden and then the "to bad we aren't friends" text is psycho?
Or do you think men know when they are misbehaving (in general)??
I think it was you that wrote something to the effect of "the last memory he has of you......"
Thanks,
nuts
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