I love internet dating.  Why?  It's a fantastic networking tool and if used effectively I do believe that you could meet your life partner - it has certainly happened for others before.  Having said that I have had limited experience but I'm super-glad I had a go!

I joined a match-making website a few years ago and received several 'flirts' from guys.  I had no picture and was very casual with my profile - to be honest I was doing it for a lark and didn't really care about the outcome.

Not long after joining, though, a received an email from a guy introducing himself.  I replied and checked out his profile which seemed ok.  We only emailed a few times and he did something that I think was GREAT.  He asked me for coffee.  We met up that saturday afternoon.  I got myself all dressed up: make-up, hair, outfit, high heels....fairly casual, yes, but I put some thought into it:)

We arranged to meet at a well-known coffee lounge.  When I first laid eyes on this guy I was a little surprised.  He didn't look like he'd made any effort with his appearance at all.  I know guys can't always dress themselves but he was wearing jeans, very old sneakers and a faded, out of shape polo shirt that probably had never seen an iron.  I immediately felt out of place and like I'd gone over the top because I'd tried to look nice.  Nevertheless I thought that beneath this appearance I would probably find an amazing, captivating personality!

We were outside the coffee lounge and so i asked if he wanted to go in for a coffee.  He said something along the lines of he didn't know and didn't mind.  I didn't really know what to do from here on in.  So, I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk around the city.  He was amenable to that.  I said that I'd grab a cold drink from a drink stand nearby.  I thought he'd do the same but he didn't.  I didn't know if I should be asking him if he wanted a drink too  - I think I did ask but he declined.  It was a bit weird.  I had imagined that we'd go into the coffee lounge, grab a drink and sit and chat.  It was like he didn't know what to do. 

Once I had my drink we set off.  After 30 minutes walking around in high heels with my feet killing me I was feeling pretty miserable and felt like this guy was trying to impress me - interesting isn't it that this was turning me off.  He happened to mention that he had a cat - now I was interested:)  then he said 'If you're special enough I'll let you come to my place and see her.'  I almost thought I'd heard that wrong.  'If I am SPECIAL enough'?!?!?!   I found that a little bit offensive.....maybe you had to be there but what a weird thing to say on a first date. 

Anyway, 20 minutes later I'd really had enough and my feet couldn't take any more so I politely let him know that I had errands to run later that afternoon.  I thanked him and left.

Because I felt like the date was a bit of a flop I thought that I'd never hear from this guy again. 

Three days later he txt me to ask me out again.  I felt sorry for him so I went.  We arranged a 3pm date and I had a band practice at 4.  Due to traffic and lack of parking I ended up finally getting to the meeting place at 3.50.  I apologised and said that I was sorry but I didn't have any time left and had to get to band practice.  He offered to walk me to the music shop I agreed but was annoyed because I just wanted to get there (running).  Half way there he stopped and said 'You're in a hurry so I'll let you go and see you another time.' I said that would be great and good bye.

I felt a bit mean but I wasn't feeling any kind of spark with this guy - I actually felt quite repulsed by him.  Anyway, given my severe lateness and quick departure (but at least I did meet him in person!) I thought that he'd be turned off and I 'd never hear from him again.  Three or so days later he txt me to ask me out for coffee again.  I said thanks but no thanks and then that was the end of that.

So did I learn anything from this experience?  YES!!!

1)  Try for local guys so that you can meet as soon as possible

2) Keep initial communication short and don't give too much away - stops you falling in love with who you imagine the other person to be.

3)  Do have plans for later on after the date.  a) so you have a solid excuse to escape if it's a disaster and b) so you can truly be a busy active woman if it goes well!

4)  Don't judge by appearances - sometimes guys really DON'T know how to dress for a date

5)  If a guy says anything to you that creeps you out or makes you feel uncomfortable don't agree to the second date.

6)  Value the experience and congratulate yourself for doing it regardless of how it went.

7)  Be prepared for walking - don't wear shoes you know you will have trouble with :)