Gifts, or The Art of Mix CDs
Submitted by Chris - guy blogger on Thu Oct 15 2009 - 02:47 am
I had a bit of writer’s block for the last couple of weeks. See, my problem has been that I wanted to write more about that first date. But it wasn't what I've been thinking about. So I caved and am now writing what's been on my mind. I apologize if this is less-focused than my previous posts, but it's probably best to just get this one out of the way!
I was thinking about some recent knowledge I got. About an ex. The following topic may sound trite, strange or downright immature, but I think that my specific example can be extrapolated into a broader point. So bear with me. The topic? Gifts!
It’s no startling revelation that most guys hate buying gifts. We hate buying them for our ma and pa. Hate buying them for weddings (I spent an hour and a half in a daze trying to find something off the registry from Bed Bath and Beyond). Hate buying them for our lady friend. Why do we hate? Because we’re never 100% sure if this is what they want.
I, personally, am even weirder. I like to give gifts that someone can actually use - whether it’s something they physically can use or a gift card at someplace they actually frequent or something they've hinted they wanted.
But we’re going to talk about Mix CDs.
The Mix CD is a complicated art. It’s a music compilation where someone is attempting to express themselves through music - through 12-16 “awesome” songs. If you get a Mix CD from a guy, he likes you. No 2 ways about it. So that’s lesson number 1. If you make a Mix CD for a guy, he will assume you’re interested in him. You might not be, but he'll think you are. That's how much guys value the Mix CD.
The incident that has particularly irked me is a situation where I made a Mix CD for a young lady I was dating. See, she had given me a CD of some jazz songs a month or two before. I like a little jazz and the CD was nice. So, I made a CD of some, well, offbeat music I had (possibly still have) a brief fascination with.
A cappella groups.
Yeah, I know, something straight out of “Glee.” As you can guess, I didn’t share this music library with a whole lot of people - kind of my secret collection. I truly like all genres of music (except for some recent Pop stuff), but I also had this niche love of a cappella groups. And so I made this girl a Mix CD of my faves from this genre, as she was a fan of singing and old standards and musicals. I thought she might dig it, too!
My intention was to not only gift music, but share a bit of myself with her, in a musical kind of way. When I gave it to her, we listened to it together and she acted like it was great and loved it.
Or so I thought.
Months after we had parted ways, a mutual friend revealed an awful fact, one I wish I actually never found out about. The ex had hated the CD! Not only did she hate it, but she complained to her friends that I didn’t get her music she liked.
Now, I know this will be my second cartoon reference out of 5 posts, but it's appropriate. There’s a really old Simpson’s episode (either that or Married With Children) where Homer gets Marge a bowling ball for her birthday. She doesn’t bowl, but after she's unwrapped it, Homer grabs it and runs off to the bowling alley! That’s a clear example of getting your sig other a gift that you really want.
But is my example the same? Sure, I’m no moron - for the Christmases / Hanukkahs, for the Valentine’s & anniversaries, and for the birthdays, I probably will be getting the standards of jewelry or something she specifically wants. However, in the Mix CD world, that CD is a guy’s attempt to say something to the girl through the music and to also open a window into his world, parts he may not share with many people.
This revelation also told me that maybe she didn't really care for the CD she made me!
At any rate, I’m not sure I have a piece of wisdom to impart here. Only that if you get a Mix CD from a guy, give it one listen. You can hate the music, sure, but also know that the little CD-R you hold in your hand is a small piece of what that person truly treasures in the world! This is true even if they’re all dirty songs - it's just that the message is a little more R-Rated!
And maybe be careful who you tell that you hated it! Yikes!
On a bright note, I think the block has been dislodged. Thanks for reading!
Til we meet again.
-Chris2
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User Comments (6)
Submitted by szstudio52 on Tue Oct 20 2009 - 01:22 pm.
The mix-cd is great if you are into the guy. It's a little creepy if you are on the fence. It's a little stalkerish if you really don't like him. You need to give your mix-cd's to women you know are into you and will appreciate it. Get the CD gift certificate for those you aren't sure about!
" I like to give gifts that someone can actually use - whether it’s something they physically can use or a gift card at someplace they actually frequent or something they've hinted they wanted."
Yeah. Me too. I'm even weirder than that....I love to receive those useful gifts that show that you are thinking about me, what I really need, what I really want. My bf, bless his soul, is great at giving these gifts!!! But heaven help him if he ever finds a material girl who needs diamonds and perfume. For Christmas one year he gave me a cord of firewood...I just moved into a place w/ a fireplace. He had the cord delivered and stacked in the backyard. Later that week he came over, disappeared and came back w/ an armload of firewood. He built a fire and then when I asked where he found the wood he told me about the gift. Wow! The gift of many many nights in front of a romantic fire w/ him! My most recent gift was FOUR new tires for my car! I was badly in need of new tires and was trying to stretch out the ones I had until I could save enough money to purchase them. He was worried about me driving to another city with my kids for a hockey tournament and insisted that he give me the tires for my birthday! A more romantic gift has never been given to a woman!
Keep up your thoughtful gifts, because in the words of Dr. Suess, "....those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind" - and will love you for it!
Submitted by redhead333 on Tue Oct 20 2009 - 04:46 pm.
I have to agree with the first comment above. My ex used to give me earrings as gifts, but they were always small, stud-type ones. I always wore long, dangling silver earrings and it made me feel like he wasn't really buying with ME in mind, just some generic concept of a female.
Unless you say otherwise, as in "I made this to introduce you to a quirky side of me that I rarely show...", a woman will assume that a gift is meant to appeal to HER tastes, not the giver's. Mix tapes to me represent a genuine effort to give me something to enjoy and remind me of the mix-maker. If the songs are leagues away from my taste, I will think he just doesn't get me, or worse, has not been paying attention.
So I guess the message you were trying to send was not really received, and that is the most important thing to learn from this episode, in my opinion.
Submitted by ManFarAway on Fri Nov 13 2009 - 11:45 pm.
Hey Chris, I'm totally new to this site so please forgive me if I am commenting in the wrong arena! My question to you is about what is an appropriate gift to buy a guy? I am in a long-distance relationship - we met online 7 months ago and have been away on vacation 3 times already and and far as I can see, everything is going just fine. We are in our 40's, divorced and he has told me "we will be together forever". Money isn't too much of an object in regards to gifts, so, for Christmas, I want to give him a gold necklace with a pendant which is fairly pricey (about $500) and want to know if you think he will be freaked out by this. He is financially able to buy me just about anything so if he freaks out, it won't be because he can't reciprocate. The pendant holds a great deal of meaning for both of us and I want him to have it to show him how much I care about him, but worry that he will think it's too much (I'm not going to tell him the cost of course!) Is it too much, too soon? How do men react to things like this? I would really like your advice....
Submitted by jocky11 on Sun Nov 22 2009 - 03:23 pm.
omg i've been thinkin of slippin a mix cd into my crush's locker. problem is, he knows i like him and hes in my class...plus i like that heavy metal crap. i've already slipped a few of my fave poems in his locker and he didn't even say anything. i don't wanna creep him out-he doesn't like me back-wat should i do?! i need help please!!!
Submitted by Lilacnlavender on Sun Dec 06 2009 - 08:29 pm.
I have a male friend who makes mix CDs. He gave me one for my birthday, and I asked him why he picked the songs, including one that I felt was offensive to me, and he told me that they just went well together. But he did make this especially for me for my birthday.
So why would he put a song about I'm a bitch, I'm a lover etc on it when that offends me?
Your blog about mix CD's was interesting though.
Well I'm not saying the gift wasn't sweet but to be honest wasn't it more about you (what you liked & what you could show her) than it was about her?
In any case, it seems like you spend an awful lot of time on these gifts when you claim to hate buying/making them, lol. No offense I'd just figure the way of dealing with not liking to shop for gifts would be to get the gift getting out of the way asap.
But thanks for sharing, it is appreciated and I hope this isn't too harsh sounding.