When it comes to attraction and what men are really looking for, there is lots of dating advice for women from men. But let me give you a little insight into what a decent guy looks for, and what I have found in my amazing girlfriend.
There are 3 main things that contribute to the overall attraction of a woman. Looks. Personality. Depth.
As looks are the initial attraction, I’ll start with that and hopefully give you some good insight into the subject.
When you see someone, the first thing you notice is how they look. Whether it be their clothing style, physical attributes or the way they carry themselves, it’s generally what initially attracts.
Now let’s clear up a few things here. I’m not looking for the ultimate super model that you would see on tv or in magazines. To be honest, that’s just not realistic and is an unhealthy and inaccurate view of what the majority of women look like.
The truth is, women come in all shapes and sizes, and beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. That means, different guys are attracted to different types of women. Now that that is out of the way, let me share with you a few things that I think affect the attractiveness of a woman.
I would say that the most important thing is to simply take care of yourself. It’s not so attractive to see a woman who just doesn’t care. I get the impression that they have just given up. At the same time, don’t get so obsessed with it that it consumes your life. As is with most things, the key here is balance. Basically, choose a healthy lifestyle and look after yourself. If you take care of yourself, not only will you be more attractive, but you will feel more attractive as well.
That leads in to the next thing, be comfortable with who you are. If you respect yourself and are comfortable with who you are, it’ll show. Insecurity is a big turn off and can even be annoying for many guys. I know I am more attracted to a girl who is comfortable with who she is. Once you get to the point that you are taking care of yourself and are comfortable with who you are, you can build on that. That brings us to clothing and makeup.
Now, this is where I may differ from some guys. Different types of clothing and makeup styles will attract different types of guys, and for different reasons. If you’re looking for a decent guy to form a good relationship with, then I can offer some good thoughts. I am more attracted to a girl who would present herself in a good way. Clothes that leave nothing to the imagination may get guys attention, but probably not the kind of guy that you would want to form a relationship with. The way you dress really says a lot about who you are and even more about what kind of guy you’re looking for. It is definitely possible to look “hot” without showing off everything.
The thing with guys is this; leave them wanting more.
If you give away everything on the first date, then what’s left to keep his interest? When it comes to makeup, my thought on this is simple. Don’t false advertise or be “two-faced”. If you use so much makeup that it makes you look completely different, then that may not be a good thing. A guy should be able to recognize you with or without makeup and not be shocked. Makeup is a great tool to accent features and compliment a certain style you may be going for.
For example, the first time I saw my girlfriend without makeup, I wasn’t surprised at all. She still looked like the girl I am so much attracted to. I can tell the difference when she isn’t wearing makeup, when she’s wearing “everyday” makeup and when she is “dressing up”, but she is still the same girl.
I have talked to many guys about this subject and we all agree that it’s more attractive in the long run when a girl just has “one face” and uses makeup tastefully, not excessively.
The last thing is the way you carry yourself. It’s not so attractive when a girl looks defeated and has given up. You don’t have to have everything together to be attractive, but it helps if you’re not a complete basket case. Your emotional state really does affect the way you look. So make an effort to deal with the issues in your life. It’ll go a long way towards making you feel better about yourself, which ultimately will make you more attractive.
But now we’re getting a bit into the next subject, which I will leave for next time. The thing to remember is this, all these factors play into the overall image that you are portraying to guys. Think about what kind of message you want to send and go from there.
So, to sum it up, the way you present yourself will say a lot about the type of guy you are trying to attract. So if you’re looking for something meaningful and want to attract Mr. Right, try this out: Take care of yourself, be comfortable with who you are and the way you look, respect yourself and be mindful about the image you are portraying.
Next time, I’ll give you some of my thoughts on personality and things you can do to attract (or repel) guys, so stay tuned!
If you found this helpful, have any questions or want to discuss, feel free to leave a comment. Until next time….
Don’t miss Greg’s second article about what men find attractive.